She says THIS but she means THAT!

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Source

Best SEX position ever!!

Caution : For 18 and above only.

Haha..I found this, I don't know how accurate and best of all, it is written by a Man!! Look out for my comments at the end.


By David Harrison


I am about to reveal the best sex position ever. The technique will allow the female to enjoy as many orgasms as she can stand (hundreds in an evening are possible) and they will be the biggest, most earth-shattering orgasms of her life.


Any man capable of correctly performing this sex position on a woman will be revered by her as her best sexual partner.


The man and woman are naked and relaxed. For reasons to be explained shortly, the woman will relieve her bladder beforehand.


The woman is then encouraged to lie comfortably on her stomach upon the bed with her thighs slightly parted.


With his fingers, the man gently massages the vagina.


Soon enough, the natural lubricant allows him to easily slide his thumb into the vagina.


He travels into the vagina with his thumb and angles down, towards the bed, until he meets the resistance of a small knob, roughly the same size as the thumb, otherwise known as the Grafenberg spot or the G-spot.


The G-spot is gently rubbed; any way is appropriate: side to side or in a circular motion, as long as it is gentle. Treatment of the G-spot is similar to that of the clitoris in this initial stage. In other words, it is handled moderately, languidly.


As soon as the man feels the small knob inflate he begins to treat it increasingly more vigorously; the woman will soon let him know if he is being too rough but, almost always, this is never the case. When the G-spot becomes aroused it can be subjected to extremely vigorous treatment; in fact, the rougher, the better.


The woman feels herself rising to a climax, coupled with a sensation of needing to urinate. But she ignores the sensation emanating from her bladder. She will not pee because she has already urinated before trying this sex position.

Within a couple of minutes of her inflamed G-spot being manipulated, the woman experiences a huge, body-rocky G-spot orgasm. It is several times more powerful than the more commonplace clitoral orgasm.

Some women have reported it feeling ten to twenty times more orgasmic. Now, depending on the woman's overall level of health and fitness, the man can resume G-spot manipulation within thirty seconds to two minutes of the orgasm. He then simply repeats the rough, vigorous G-spot massage, until another orgasm rocks through the woman.

This process can be repeated with continued success as many times as the woman can stand. It is easily possible to give the woman several hundred earth-rending orgasms in one evening, interspersed by mere seconds or minutes.

This article is, of course, about the best sex position ever.

So I will now describe the second phase of coupling wherein the man substitutes his penis for, used up until now, his thumb. When the woman has experienced several orgasms, her G-spot will be highly sensitive. She will be able to feel the sensitive knob pleasurably throbbing within her vagina.

The man lies on his back and the woman mounts him, allowing his erect penis to completely penetrate her vagina. The woman is now able to ride the man and angle her body appropriately so the head of his penis is hitting her sensitive G-spot.

Just as when her G-spot was being manipulated by the man's thumb, the woman is able to experience repeated deep orgasms, separated by either seconds or minutes. To add to the already intense sexual pleasure she experiences by this sex position, she can also massage her own clitoris, and enjoy simultaneous G-spot and clitoral orgasmic climaxes.

I think you can appreciate how this is clearly the best sex position ever. In a single evening a woman is able to experience hundreds of orgasms, larger than ever before, and the man is, of course, revered for giving the woman such grandiose heights of sexual ecstasy.

After reading the whole techniques, I have only one question - Where the hell is the G-spot??

10 things you must do before saying "I do"

"I do" is 2 simple words but it has significant meaning when directed at the question of - Will you marry me? When you say "I do", it comes with a commitment to spend the rest of your life with the other person. It is not about being caught in the moment. For the person who asks and for the person who answers, it is a lifetime commitment. So, probably "we do" is more appropriate.

I decided to come up with my 10 things to do before saying "We do". Marriage is a big step and saying "We do" should not be taken lightly. These tips are some of my thought process before I took my big step. I hope it helps.

10 things you must do before saying "We do"


1. Ask yourself this question -Do you truly love each other? but the more important question to answer is - Can you see yourself living the rest of your life with this person?

You need to be certain that both of you love each other. Unfortunately, it’s easy to confuse infatuation and lust with love. Sometimes being comfortable with someone can also be confused with love. Suffice to say that infatuation is more about BEING IN LOVE with the way someone makes you feel. True love happens slowly and it requires nurture and time to grow and strengthen ; it’s about being committed and concerned for your partner’s well being. Therefore, you must be able to see yourself spending the rest of your life building and growing this commitment of love.

2. Get your parents blessings.

A marriage blessed by both parents are so important. Without the parents blessings, there will always be a discomfort in your heart. Infact, I believe that the right thing to do is for the man to ask for the girl's parents blessings before the proposal. Firstly, that shows respect and respect to parents that way, says a lot of the character of the man. This will definitely start the relationship with in-laws in the right way too.


3. Get your blood test done

It is just not about HIV or STD but also others for a new couple to consider. As I understand from my doctor, one such is Thalassemia which is a blood disorder. If you and your soon to be spouse are both Thalassemia carriers there is a 25% chance that your child will be born with Thalasemia and survival rate is low in the first 10 years. While it is unfortunate and blood should not be a determinant of love or marriage but you would want to make an informed decision. You can get married and you can still decide if having kids is an option that both of you want to take.

4. Decide how you want to handle finances

Money, this thing called money has a higher chance of destroying a marriage than improving it. Therefore a discussion of money or how to handle finances should be done before taking the plunge. "Who will be paying the bills? One joint account? separate accounts? Wife get allowances from husband? Who pay for what?" While many do not want to discuss about money cos it seemed so unromantic but I recommend to have a discussion and at the very least both of you can express your views and both will understand what are each other's expectations.

5. Who cleans the toilet??

This is about household chores. In this day and age, women are no longer the expected person to handle household chores. For most marriages it has become a shared responsibility. In many household, women are still the head to handle all household chores. Many couples do not discuss because it may seem like a trivial matter. However, I decided to tell my hubby to be....what my habits are, expectations of shared responsibility so we both going in the marriage with a right expectations.


6. Talk about children

Do you want children? If both of you want children, great. If neither of you wants to have children, that’s great too. The important thing is being on the same page when it comes to children, when to have them, and how to raise them. Many couples have split up over issues like this, all because they failed to ask this important pre-marriage question: “Do you want to have kids someday?”

7. Decide where to stay

This is important, sometimes we don't have a choice eg. both of you don't have a house so will have to stay with in-laws. Please align that clearly and both should agree. If staying with parents is a choice eg, Man will need to take care of parents always, make sure that your wife to be knows and will agree. I believe if given a choice, it is always great to start a newly married life together. This will ensure quality time spent without having to deal with family squabbles.

8. Throw away that little black book

This is not only for the guys but for the ladies too. When we decide to take the plunge, things will be different. We no longer can just go out with the opposite sex anytime, we want. No more flirting, no more flings. Are you ready for that?

9. Do you share the same beliefs?

If not, can you respect your differences? It’s easiest to marry someone who shares the same religious beliefs as yourself. However, it’s very possible for two people from different religious backgrounds to have a harmonious marriage If they’re able to understand and respect those differences. You should never marry someone with the hope of converting them to your idea of the “truth.” Religion is a tricky area and best to discuss to understand where each other stand.

10. Plan a great wedding and honeymoon but remember marriage is not the wedding.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Do not let the wedding and honeymoon become the end all and be all. I have seen people who really spent all the time and money to have the wedding of their dreams but in the midst of that, it has caused arguments, disagreements, tears etc. And it ended up that the wedding was the most unhappy time for the couple though it was the most beautiful wedding with the most beautiful decor and the most delicious food. The wedding should be a happy occasion so have fun planning it, don't raise the bar so high. End in mind should be a happy wedding not just a grand wedding.

So, are you ready to say "We do"?

Man with desire to have ménage à trois aka "threesome"

Hi everyone, I am extremely excited. Since I have started this blog, I somehow feel that my writings are biased to women. Naturally... cos moi is a lady! :) So, I am happy to annouce that I found a man to contribute to my column from time to time. Let me just call him The Beast. Hope you will feedback on his first column.

Man with desire to have ménage à trois
by The Beast

I am not sure why one of man's ultimate sexual desire is to have a ménage à trois? Or in other words, having sex with 2 women at the same time. It is to show that he is the MAN of the men? Or is it just a big turn on for him?

According to wikipedia, Ménage à trois in French phrase ménage, (household) à, (for) trois, (three) literally translates as "household of three." A ménage à trois to simply put it, a romantic relationship in which three people, such as a married couple and a lover, live together and have sexual relations.

There is a challenge in actually achieving a ménage à trois. First you need have 2 women that agree to have sex with you. Both of them must be comfortable having sexual relationship with each other....Lesbianism?...not necessarily. It can be considered bi-sexual. Then the man need to be able to satisfy these 2 women and also this relationship need to be very agreeable and not have jealousy among 3 members of a ménage à trois. If they could achieve this status, then it will be a flourishing relationship.

Socially it is not an accepatable relationship. It is viewed as a unfaithful relationship because a GOOD relationship is between a man and a woman. If this relationship is somehow violated, it is then considered a socially unacceptable relationship.

Have you done it before?

Is this truly your fantasy?

Post a comment. let me know if you want it to be private.

101 ways to Say I LOVE YOU

It is only Tuesday......sigh....so I feel I need to spread a little love around. So cheer up by saying the 3 words of love. Read on, I have a small challenge at the end of this post.

Those three little words, "I Love You", hold a lot of meaning, but there's more ways to say them than you think.

Here are 101 different ways for you to verbally express your love to your sweetheart.

I adore you.
I am infatuated with you.
I appreciate you.
I can't live without you.
I can't stop thinking about you when we're apart.
I cherish you.
I dream of you.
I live for our love.
I love being around you.
I need you by my side.
I need you.
I respect you.
I value you.
I want a lifetime with you.

I want you.
I worship you.
I yearn for you.
I'm a better person because of you.
I'm blessed to have you in my life.
I'm devoted to you.
I'm fond of you.
I'm lost without you.
I'm nothing without you.
I'm passionate about you.
I'm thankful for you.
I'm yours.
Me and you. Always.
My love is unconditional.
Our love is invaluable.
Take me, I'm yours.
The thought of you brings a smile to my face.
Ti tengu cara (to female) or Ti tengu caru (to male).
Together, forever.
We were meant to be together.
You are a blessing in disguise.
You are an angel from God.
You are like a candle burning bright.
You are my crush.
You are my dear.
You are my everything.
You are my heart's desire.
You are my life.
You are my one and only.
You are my one true love.
You are my reason for living.
You are my strength.
You are my sunshine.
You are my treasure.
You are my world.
You are precious.
You are the light of my life.
You are the reason I'm alive.
You bring happiness to rainy days.
You bring joy to my life.
You cast a spell on me that can't be broken.
You complete me.
You drive me wild.
You fill me with desire.
You fill my heart.
You give me wings to fly.
You had me from hello.
You hold the key to my heart.
You inspire me.
You intoxicate me.
You lift me up to touch the sky.
You light my flame.
You light up my life.
You make me hot.
You make my heart skip a beat.
You make my world a better place.
You mean the world to me.
You motivate me.
You rock my world.
You seduce me.
You set my heart on fire.
You simply amaze me.
You stole my heart.
You sweeten my sour days.
You turn my world upside down.
You turn the darkness into light.
You're a dream come true.
You're a gem.
You're a twinkle in my eye.
You're absolutely wonderful.
You're all I want.
You're as beautiful as a sunset.
You're beautiful.
You're charming.
You're enchanting.
You're heavenly.
You're my angel.
You're my perfect match.
You're one in a million.
You're priceless.
You're sexy.
You're the apple of my eye.
You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
You're the best.
You're the diamond in the rough.
You're the one for me.
You're the one I've always wished for.

OK....The challenge : here's what you can do.

1. Choose just one and say it to your loved one tonight.

2. Send one every day via email to your loved one for the next 100 days.

Come on, come on, it would be a lovely gesture. I will do it and if you do it too....let me know what's the response yeah!

Heidi Klum & Seal - Still on Their Honeymoon!

I love stories about LOVE. Yeah...I am a hopeless romantic. So, I am sharing this bit of celebrity love news I just read from People.com.

I know that love in Hollywood is so fragile, it almost never lasts and we hear more about "phonecall" break-ups to messy divorces more than we hear about happily every after. I guess Hollywood is not a fairytale after all.

So whenever I read a piece of celebrity news which celebrates love, I almost always feel....there is hope. Love can prevail!

This is an interview with Heidi Klum and she talks about her husband Seal and how she feels she is still on honeymoon even though she's been married for a few years.

She has been married to Seal for three years, but Heidi KLum still feels like a newlywed. "Sometimes I lie in bed and I'm like, 'Oh my god, there's Seal lying next to me. What's he doing there?' " Klum tells In Style in its December issue. "I get a smile on my face immediately. Our honeymoon period is definitely not over."

How do Klum, 35, and Seal, 45, keep the spice in their relationship? "[We] have date nights," she says. "We go to dinner or to the movies. We like to keep it romantic. Some people wake up in the morning and turn over when they see their mate. That's not us."

Klum also credits her husband – not her modeling career – for her personal style evolution. "I've gotten more stylish since I've been with my husband," she says in the interview. "I was always making fun of him because he has so many leather coats, jackets and shoes. But he looks hot."

"I want to look good for him," Klum says. "So I kind of stepped it up a bit." The Project Runway host also shares her husband's interest in music. They sing together, she says, even if she isn't always on key. "We sing all the time," Klum says. "He's always rolling his eyeballs because I'm in the wrong key. But I know he's laughing about it too. So I'm not a singer – who cares? Not everyone is Seal!"

Isn't it romantic? It is always nice to read declarations of love.

Some key tips on feeling like you are on your honeymoon all the time :-

- they still spend quality time as a couple (even though they have kids) eg. date nights

- they make the effort to be involved in each other's interest. Seal is a singer, so she sings too

- Appreciate each other

- Make fun of each other

- Make the effort to look good for your spouse

Hope this piece of news give you hope on love.

10 signs He is in to You

When you meet a guy and you have just dated a few times, sometimes it is hard to gauge if he interested or not. Some guys want to be cool and since they are also unsure about your feelings they may not be so forthright in their pursuit.

However, there are a few tell tale signs that he is already smitten with you. Watch out for it.

1. He picks you up from the airport

2. He is comfortable listening to his phone message or phone call infront of you

3. He refers to the two of you as "we". eg We loved the James Bond movie.....

4. He calls you every morning at work and also at night before you sleep.

5. He asks you if you wanna go out shopping - any excuse to ask you out :)

6. He brings you soup when you are sick. aarrghhh!

7. He talks about his family and hints about a holiday to his home town

8. He invites you to join him on a boys night out.

9. He sends you flowers for no special reason.

10. He does not refuse when asked to be photographed together.

What do you think? Am I right? Did I miss any other pointers? Share...share....

5 things ruining your sex life in your bedroom

The question to ask is "Who is sleeping with you in your bedroom? Is it your spouse or is there someone else or something else that is taking the passion out of the bed?

The bedroom should be a place for your spouse and you. A bed of passion.

These are top 5 things that is sure a killer to the mood if you allow these sleeping partners to slip into bed with you.

1. The Baby

Taking care of a baby is not easy especially in the first few months. The crying, wailing for milk and also attention they seek from you as parents. It not only takes sex away from the bedroom but also sleep. It may be difficult but remember it is best to comfort them but leave them back in their cot and not take the baby in bed too. Once you start having the baby in your bed, it will be years before they leave :)


2. The Television

In this day and age, a telly in the bedroom is as common as a sofa in the living room. With a hectic lifestyle, there is not much time for the telly so catching the shows before bedtime is common for a lot of couple. But it is a real passion killer. The routine for bedtime would be telly before sleep no longer sex before sleep. So, if you can, try to ship the telly right out of the bedroom or better yet do not ship a telly in if it was never there. It's not easy and I don't think I can ever convince my hubby to move the TV out. Anyway, this may help (I have not used it yet) - "Studies show that a television kept on standby generates magnetic fields and imperceptible levels of noise that disrupt sleep"

3. Money $$$

Money is the root of all evil and money is also the cause of all arguments. Couples often argue about money especially when they lack of the green bucks. Never talk about money before sleep, or you won't get any action that night.

4. Work

Work stress is part and parcel of the working life. It is difficult to erase from work just because you are home. Especially if there is a deadline or your boss just gave you a scolding earlier in the day, it is common to bring the work worries back home. However, remember work is still just work at the end of the day. Your time with your family is most important. Be present when you are home, and ensure you are making every moment count. Also, sex helps to release endorphins that will lift your spirits and you will feel more positive to work again the next day!!

5. The drink..... or that one last drink...

Yup yup....if you had one too many drinks during after office drinks session, most often you will find that you would be struggling to perform. It is a myth to think that a few drinks will get you all ready to romp in the bedroom. Yeah, you probably want to but men may find it hard to perform and even for women who drank too much can have problems reaching orgasm. So, do pace yourself when you are out drinking.

What do you think? Can you kick these disruptive sleeping partners out of your bed?

The Bachelorette splits....and I was right!!

I was right! I was right!!!!

Sorry I had to gloat here a bit cos I was right!!! I knew she picked the wrong guy!

This is regarding the Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas. She just called off her engagement with the guy Jesse Csincsack, who proposed to her in the finale show and she accepted on national TV.

They even had a website together. And seemed so in love....ha! But I knew she choose the wrong guy and it not last. Anyway this is what her fiance said in a video posted on their website. Btw, I think they just took down their website as I can't get in anymore.

Jesse Said -

"I kind of feel like it's our responsibility to tell you we're not together anymore, DeAnna broke up with me two days ago, and I just wanted to come on here and tell you guys face-to-face, I'm sorry - I did everything in my power to try and make this work. "She's a great person, but she wasn’t willing to try anymore. "She wanted something different. The answer I got was, 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you. "That's a lot to swallow, no matter who you are. It's a lot to take in."

She just chose the wrong guy, it was obvious! She said she wanted marriage and stability but she went and chose the guy would don't seem to want that yet. Furthermore, the guy she rejected (the somewhat stable, but probably less interesting guy) he now will be get his second chance at love as the next Bachelor show coming up soon.

Well!! Well!! Sometimes, I really wonder if all these reality shows are just publicity stunts. But at least one of the couple did make it and still happily married with kids! Snippets of the Bachelorette seasons-

Season 1
Trista Rehn selected Ryan Sutter, and their December 2003 wedding was broadcast in one of the most widely viewed programs in the history of reality television. They welcomed their first child, son Maxwell Alston, on July 26, 2007. They remain the most famous and most successful coupling produced by the television series.

Season 2
Meredith Phillips chose Ian Mckee, but they ended their relationship in February 2005.

Season 3
Jen Schefft, selected by Andrew Firestone in Season 3 of The Bachelor, got a second chance at love, after her relationship with Firestone ended, in The Bachelorette's third season. She chose Jerry Ferris, an art gallery director, over fellow finalist John Paul Merritt in a first live final-rose ceremony.[2] During this last episode, Jerry proposed to Jen. She rejected his proposal, however, stating that the chemistry was not there.

Season 4
DeAnna Pappas

, who won the The Bachelor but was yet rejected by bachelor Brad Womack, chose Jesse over Jason. They were set to wed on May 9, 2009 but the couple announced their break-up in November 2008

This show would probably not hit the shores of Malaysia since it will be too outdated anyway if it did. So, do read what I wrote about 3 months ago, just to prove that I was right!! Gloat! Gloat! Click here.

Sexual Assault

As I was surfing the net, I came across this blog posting on Dreams & Reality.

It is about sexual predators, those "sick in the head" people who prey after women whether young or old. They may not go to the extend of rape but they thrive on sexual harassment or sexual assault, sometimes a slight grey area that is not so easily caught.

Some of their acts - Flasher (flashing of their genitals), they sit near you on the bus/train, they pressed themselves against you in crowded places, fondling - they accidentally touch your legs, breast, buttocks, verbal assault, incest and also sexual harassment at work. Worst is that these people likely will prey on kids, young teenagers who are not aware of what's wrong or what's right.

I do have a personal experience to share. I was very young, probably just 10 years old and I was taking public transportation to school in my hometown. Those times, it is very common to be taking public transportation to school at a young age, unlike now. I still remember I was sitting beside this big burly Indian man. I fell asleep. When I woke up, I saw that he has taken his dick out from his pants and was massaging it. It was a long time ago and I was very young but I was so ignorant that all I thought of was "poor guy - he must be sick (ill), his pee pee is injured and he is examining it." . I just remember that. I got off the bus after and it never made an impression on me after and I did not tell anyone. I just did not know better.

Now that I recall back, obviously that was a sick man, and this time I mean "psycho sick", "asshole" sick, "should be put in jail" kinda of sick. I really wonder why these men exists, what is going through their psychotic brains. Whatever it is, I feel we just need to protect ourselves, protect our children.

Some tips of what to do :-

1) Trust your Instincts

Firstly, we must know what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes sexual harassment feels a bit in the grey area (especially when it is a friend) but we must follow our instincts. If we don't feel comfortable, we must voice out. We must stop it and do not allow it to continue. Eg. A friend was on a plane and the guy beside her (smartly dressed, articulate and seemed like a perfect gentleman), he started a conversation with her. As the conversation progressed, he started to sit closer and closer to her. She started to feel uncomfortable, decided not to talk anymore and she began reading a magazine. This guy did not stop, continue to lean closer and closer to her brushing on her arms. At first, she was too shy to do anything but she really felt uncomfortable and she voiced out, told him to stop, if not she would inform the stewardess. He stopped but yet still had the nerve to ask for her number!

2) Be aware & Educate yourself

We need to be alert always and ensure we do not put ourselves in a vulnerable position. Educate ourselves with the knowledge on where these people usually attack. For eg. when jogging in the park, in crowded places especially in trains and buses, person who sits beside you in public places, beware of your drinks when you go clubbing, staying late night in the office, going to a quiet car park alone etc - these are all potential areas where the sexual predator may strike.

3) Educate our children

I believe that sex education is important to today's children. Television and the Internet are such major influencers in their life from young. As parents, we must teach them what is wrong and what is right and how to protect themselves.

4) Stand up and Voice Out

Do not be a silent victim. Do not feel shy or embarrassed. I think sometimes, we feel too embarrassed to voice out especially when you are in a public place. You pretend that it is ok and hope that it will go away, you tell yourself maybe you are imagining it etc. No, we cannot keep silence. If we feel violated, we must voice out.

Oral Sex is Illegal???!!

This funny incident came up during my little reunion with a bunch of old friends. We have known each other for 10 years after joining a self development course therefore all of us are of different background and age group. It is a wonderfully diversified group yet we are close and able to share many stories whenever we meet up once or twice a year.

Inadvertently, the topic will always stir to sex. Usually with hilarious recommendations on what to eat to enhance “u know what”, what positions, or just tips on husband/wife relationship.

This time, the conversation started with the topic of Singaporeans. Brendy, my very well endowed friend - (trust me when I saw "very well endowed!" ), she was just commenting on how rigid Singaporeans are, how they are all so busy with work, less time to have babies, to have sex…..and then she said “ Yeah, they are so rigid, even oral sex is considered illegal in Singapore, that is simply ridiculous!”

We all turned to her….and then said, “Ah yeah. It is considered unnatural sex but you know that oral sex is also illegal in Malaysia right?”

You should have seen her expression. She was flabbergasted. She obviously does not know that oral sex is illegal in Malaysia and many countries around the world too.

Malaysia Law - Under Section 377A and 377B of the Penal Code, any person who has sexual relations with another involving the introduction of the penis into the anus or mouth, can be jailed up to 20 years and is also liable for whipping.

Please read link here for sodomy law.

Recently in Singapore oral and anal sex between consenting heterosexual adults is no longer an offense but oral and anal sex between consenting men, remains an offense. Singapore have moved one step ahead.

So, did you know that oral sex is indeed illegal in Malaysia?

Guy's Sex Confessions - What they don't want you to do in bed?

I was reading Cosmopolitan and I thought the article on what guys don’t want women to do in bed is pretty interesting. These are few that I picked out and check out if you commit any of it.

1) Noise-making is great but don’t freak him out. Guys really dig into girls who respond in bed. It encourages him and a sign that he is doing the right things. But too much moaning will freak him out. He would think that you are too self absorbed and is not there for him eg. Even though he has not done anything, you are already moaning.

2) Being too self conscious of your body. I guess every woman is self conscious when naked. We are afraid that they will see our imperfections or touch our fleshy areas. But guys hate it when the girls are trying to cover up their bodies. They want a woman who is confident and ready to flaunt her body. If you are self conscious, dim the lights.

3) Too much unwanted hair. Ladies – remember to shave yeah….overgrown and untrimmed hair is not a turn-on. It's a total turn off.

4) Rushing off to the toilet immediately after sex. Ha ha…I thot this is what men do but apparently men don’t like it if their girl rush off to the toilet immediately after sex.

5) Be gentle as necessary. Men are very protective of their packs. While they like to see the girl taking charge, however do make sure you are not pressing or holding too hard. It is painful and all their mood will be gone.

Guys - Any confessions of your own? Do share. What about the gals? Share, Share.

What late PARTYING does to your looks?

We all probably had our share of partying days. For many, it is still a Friday night ritual and sometimes a few days a week. I believe partying is a phase that everyone should go through. As for me…been there, done that, I feel a little old for partying nowadays but I would still obliged once in a while. With the right company, it can be great fun.

However, I would like to warn all you party animals out there, what partying can do to your looks? I know when we are having fun, all other things does not matter. Hangovers, eye bags, headaches, don’t remember what you did last nite etc etc are common effects of a great partying night.

But what does it really do to your looks? It is a gradual effect but trust me….it ain’t pretty.

1) Your skin dries up.
I am sure you all know that you often feel very thirsty after a heavy drinking session. Alcohol has a dehydrating effect on your entire system. This will affect your entire body and the consequence is premature wrinkles. If you look at yourself in the mirror the next morning, you do look like you have aged 5 years right? 

2) Your face becomes blotchy
Blotchiness of you face can be a permanent feature after much drinking. As your body absorbs booze, blood vessels becomes dilated causing redness and flushing where skin is thinnest such as your skin and eyes. Not a pretty sight

3) You will have DULL hair, nails and teeth
Drinking interferes with the absorption of vitamins and nutrients into your bodies. And no matter how much vitamin A, D, calcium and zinc , your hair nails and teeth will be dull as the minerals can penetrate into our bodies

4) You pack on the pounds
Who says booze is water and thus less calories. One can of beer is at least 150 calories, and a margarita is about 400 or more. Furthermore, booze will boost your appetite…so not surprising the mamak (night food) business is 24 hours, catering for the hungry partygoers.

Did I paint a bleak picture? Don't worry, enjoy life when we are young. Just don't overdo it. Your body needs a rest too.

What is Love?

What is love?

This question suddenly came to my mind. I decided to search the net for some definitions. Many wrote that, it is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love.

Oxford definition :-

1. an intense feeling of deep affection.

2. a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.

3. a great interest and pleasure in something.

4. a person or thing that one loves.

5. (in tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero. apparently from the phrase play for love (i.e. the love of the game, not for money).

I felt the oxford definitions are so dry and unromantic. These are others that I found.

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

The true meaning of love is found in the word "unconditional". Loving someone through their flaws and all. Accepting and embracing each others differences and compromising with their offerings.

Love is a unexplainable happiness.

I think it is very difficult to explain love. Love is a feeling, an emotion and that may be different for everyone.

To put it simply, you will know the meaning of love when you fall in love.

And when you do, don't ever forget it.

I will leave you with a beautiful L.O.V.E rendition by Nat King Cole.

What does my Mother in law hate me? Part 2

My previous posting (click link here) uncovered some reasons on why mother in law behaves in a certain way. However even with understanding and emphathy, it can never take away the frustrations and heart aches when dealing with an unreasonable mother in law.

These are my 5 tips on how to handle the situation, it will probably not solve the problem but hopefully it will help.

1) Patience is a virtue – This is utmost importance and if you have patience, half your problems will be solved. See no evil, hear no evil, say no evil.

2) Distance is sometimes better - If you have the opportunity at the begining to not stay with in-laws, please do so. It is the best way to start a marriage.

3) Make sure your hubby in on your side - This is a tricky one because one is his mom and the other is his wife. However for your sanity, he must be on your side. But you must play your cards well too. Never make him choose between his mother or you. Remember don’t bad mouth your mother in-law. Inform your husband of every single situation and make him understand and ensure he will stand by you. Don't nag or act hysterical.

4) Be a level above - Don’t fight back ( it will only give her reasons to torture you further) but also don’t be run over. Be confident and stated what is right in a "nice" way. You must always be one level above your mother in law. Don’t stoop to her level and play the same game. Play a higher level game like you are not affected. Don’t shout back, don’t break down in front of her.

5) Be the agent of change for the future – Knowing what you know, please do not do it to your son’s wife in future. Break the curse.

Why does my mother-in law hate me?

Any of you ladies out there is encountering this issue? Is this one of your laments? Do you have a hate hate relationship with your mother in-law? Does she make your life misearable? Is your mother in law butting in your life?

So why are mother in laws out to make their daughter in law’s life miserable? From my observations of my own family and from friends, these are reasons I can think of. It is important to understand what is causing them to behave a particular way.

1. You will always be the outsider.
This is a fact and the sooner you accept it the better. You have just come into a family that have 20-30 years history together. You are an outsider, you will not always get the same treatment as the other members, it may not be fair but it is reality. For eg, I noticed that some mother in law will always ask her own children to come eat dinner after she has cooked but she never ask the daughter in law. Face the fact, from a ranking standpoint, to her eyes you are last in the list. And since she prepared dinner (which she probably is not happy that you did not help) she likely will not even ask you to come eat.

2. It is the only way mother in laws know how to treat daughter in laws.

It is the way she was treated and that is the only way she knows how to treat you. This all trace back to history of how a son is regarded as the carrier of the family name and thus a son heir is so important especially so in a Chinese family. The girl adopts the husband’s name. She is like sold out, no value to the family. This has given a more superior position to the sons and thus they are treated like the kings. The girl is considered second class and she was likely treated even worse by her mother in law. This unfortunate treatment just continuing in the next generation. My grandma is one such example…she was badly treated by her mother in law (you know during the 1930s when daughters are married in the family and almost instantly expected to take care of the household ie clean, cook, wash etc) Though my grandma will never admit it, but throughout the years, I realized she don’t have anything nice things to say about all her daughter in laws.

3. She feels threatened by your presence

She used to be head of the household, the only woman taking care of the needs of the family, her son. You are seen as competition. If you don’t help out with household chores – you are a bad wife. If you help with household chores – you are butting in. You can never do right cos your mother in law is threatened by your presence.

4. No one is good enough for her son

Being protective of her son, she will try to find faults with you just to prove that you are not good enough. If you are so good, it will make her less than perfect. Therefore, she will never admit that you are too good for her son. You may asked why she does not treat her daughter’s husband the same way with the mentality that nobody is good enough for her daughter. Seriously, to some extent she also feels that but she can’t treat her son-in law bad cos her daughter has married away and she can only hope that her son in law will treat her well. So her natural instinct is to be nice to her son in law.

5. Don’t bite the “breast” that fed you.

She fears that you will take her son away from her. She was her son’s caregiver, she is who he runs to when he is sick, she prepares his food etc etc, she was put on a pedestal by her son. She feels that you are replacing her place. And her son has betrayed her, love her less. To put it crudely, he is now running to your breast! :) It is a difficult adjustment for her and managing the fear that her son will not love her anymore. One of my friends’ mother in law's nightmare story is about money. She seem to want all her sons money and she always have hurtful words about how useless her daughter in law is cos she makes so little money and need to rely on her son for everything.

Do you have any nightmare mother in law stories? Do share…

This reminds me of the movie Monster in Law starring Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez. Watch below for a little laugh.

If you have a monster in law, what should you do? Wait…for my next posting.

Men who tell all after sex

I have always heard that men do not talk about intimate stuff. They are just macho macho with the guys and talk about football, money, business. They don't like to talk about their girlfriend, wife, whatmore intimate secrets of the bedroom.

So, do men tell all after sex? Do they talk about how good or how bad they are in bed? Do they share bedroom details with their macho guy friends?

Yes they do. But just the jerks!

I heard of one such jerk recently. Firstly, he is married. Secondly, he pursued a younger vulnerable girl who just broke up with her boyfriend. Next, he tells all the details to his guy friends and he paints a picture of how this girl is coming on to him. He reports on how he is very transparent about his marital status but yet the girl still wants to go out with him. He gleefully pours out details of their rendezvous and what they do to his guy friends! No remorse, not seeking advice, just updating about his conquests.

I am disgusted with the guy. Firstly, he is married and no matter what he is in the wrong. Even if he claims that the girl is pursuing him, but hey...it takes 2 hands to clap. But what is really low, is that he tells all his guy friends about what they are doing and the guys have a good laugh about it. How low can one get?

Of course, I am not being bias just because I am a woman. I feel the girl is also stupid to follow-thru with a married man but again, I believe it takes 2 hands to clap. He must also be giving for her to be receiving.

So, here we have a silly girl and a jerk for a guy. I hope that the girl will wake up and realise soon what a jerk he is. As for this jerk, there is a Chinese saying for him - For so much philandering, there will be some much torture.

Can you tell your childhood friends that you are gay?

I am no expert in this topic but somehow I am intrigued to write about this as it just happened to a friend of mine.

I personally have many gay friends…some of them are even really good friends of mine. Most if not all, are friends that I got to know when I started working. Most of them are in the advertising line working as creative personnel, PR, graphic design etc. And I realized that I don’t know any gay friends from my school days.

Many are still discovering their sexuality in their teens, in school. I guess most decide “to come out of the closet” in their 20s after they started working. Therefore, there would be few from teenage school days that we get to know as openly gay.

I would think it is really hard for a gay person to meet back their old school friends and revealing their sexual orientation. They probably have not met for years and there would be just so must history that facing them would not be something that one desires.

So, I would think that other than family, the next bunch of people that are hard to face or hard to tell about your sexual orientation are your childhood friends.

This is story I heard recently. It happened to a friend’s friend. They are all great buddies from school. They hang out together, some even rented rooms together, they take holidays together, basically they are a “gang”. Over the course of 10-15 years, I would say they have been through much together, or least supported each other in different times of need. Some got married, most remained single and they were just were a “gang” throughout the years. They meet regularly and life is just cool to always have a “gang” to hang out with.

One of them is gay. After years of friendship, he never once mentioned it. It is hard. Hard to face up to family and friends that he has known all your life. He is worried about what they would think? How they would react? How would they treat him? Can they still be good friends?

But how long can he keep it from his closest friends? Especially when he has found someone special in his life. He want to be open to his friends, he wants his friends to accept him, his sexuality and importantly he wants his friends to accept his new found partner.

In this day and age, having a gay friend is no longer a taboo. It may not be easy to open up but sometimes you gotta just bite the bullet and say it. Be prepared for gossips behind your back. It would be too unrealistic to expect that your friends are not going to talk about you. They will and they will talk and talk and talk and talk. But they will get tired eventually and as time pass, I am sure things will be back to normal again.

Friendship Remains And Never Can End. FRANCE........remember that we use to write this in autographs?!! :)

How do you tell your friends if you are gay?

They have been friends since school days.
All 8 of them have been thru thick and thin. They hang out, go on holidays, and always there for each other. One of them is gay. After 10 years, he has never confessed. Now he has found someone special. He wants his best friends to know but he does not know how they will accept his lifestyle. To make things worse, his friends does not like his "friend" and his "friend" is not really accepted in the group. He doesn't want to lose his friends but he is in dilemma on how they will accept his "friend".

DO I LOOK FAT?

I can only say for women and I think the above is absolutely true. Whenever we look into the mirror, we just see how fat we are. And that is why we always ask the stupid question of "DO I LOOK FAT?"

God forbid if anyone especially the boyfriend or husband to even hesitate to answer no. The answer is always No, You look great! No hesitation, no pondering. Better if you can fake a puzzled look of how ridiculous the question is like "duhhh! You look great! What are you talking about?"

I must give my hubby full credit for excellence in this area. Whenever I ask him that dreaded question - he never hesitates, never doubts - his answer is always NO! I will ask again and again, I will pressure him to look and agree with me. But he never fails. It is always a "No, you look good!

Sigh....I know it is not true always but trust me it does make me feel good.

I wonder if men prefer the truth or otherwise if they ask that dreaded question about their body!

Waking up in the morning - difference between men and women

A friend sent me the cartoon below today. I thot it was really funny. Yeah men and women are different and to some extent, it is absolutely true. But I do know that it does not apply to all. Men nowadays are also very conscious of their looks and they do take a long time getting ready too. Am I right?

My Top 6 Long Standing Celebrity Couples

Celebrities are often not the best role models when it comes to marriage. We often hear more of break-ups than happily ever after. However Hollywood would not be Hollywood without the juicy stories of infidelities, break-ups, divorces.


However, there are also many couples that have lasted the test of time. These are some couples that I think are best roles models on marriages. I do hope that they will be happily ever after stories. Give us some hope that happily ever after do exists....


1) Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith (1997- present)

The couple met on the set of the movie Two Much, and were married a year later in May of 1996. They have one child together, a daughter named Stella del Carmen Banderas Griffith, who was born in 1996. Stella appears in the 1999 movie Crazy in Alabama. Melanie has three children altogether, basically one with each person she was married too. Her most noteable previous relationship was with Miami Vice star Don Johnson.

2) Michelle Pfeiffer and David E Kelly (1993- present)

In 1993, Pfeiffer was set up on a blind date with television writer and producer David E Kelley but it became a group event and they barely spoke to each other. The following week, Kelley took her to the cinema , and they began dating seriously. They married on November 13, 1993. Pfeiffer and Kelley have two children, one adopted daughter and one biological son.


3) John Travolta and Kelly Preston (1991 - present)

They met during the filming of The Experts. John and Kelly have been married twice. Their first marriage, performed by a Scientologist minister, was declared illegal. This made the couple have to followup with another ceremony that took place on September 12, 1992.
John and Kelly have a son, Jett Travolta (1992), and a daughter, Ella Blue Travolta (2000) together. Both of the couple are members of the Church of Scientology



4) Will Smith and Jada Pinket Smith (1997 - present)

They met when Jada tried out for the role of Will's girlfriend on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" television series. (she lost the role to Nia Long). The couple was married on December 31 of 1997. They have two children together. Jaden Christopher Syre was born in 1998, and co-starred with his father in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness. The other child is Willow Camille Reign, born in 2000. Will has a son named Trey from his previous relationship



5) Hugh Jackman and Deborra Lee Furness (1996 - present)

Aussie actor Hugh Jackman has been married to Deborra Lee Furness since 1996. He believes in keeping his marriage fun and making compromises. Even though she is 13 years older than him, the secret to their long lasting marriage is making that person the most important thing in your life. They have two kids together, Oscar, 5, and Ava, 8 months.



6) Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson (1988 - present)

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson met on the set of the television comedy "Bosom Buddies", but didn't get serious with her until the movie "Volunteers" in 1985, which also co-starred the late John Candy. They were married on April 30, 1988. The couple has two children. Tom had two children with his previous wife as well.

Simple love stories - The Obama Story...

Sometimes the simplest story are the best love stories, no frills, no drama, just a simple hello, and the rest as they say is history.

I recently read Barack and Michelle Obama's love story. If you have been following the US presidential election, you will know that this man is potentially going to be one of the most powerful man in the future. Infact the future of America and how it affects the world, may lie in his hands.

I believe a man in his position with all the pressure of a political life and running a country, he definitely need a strong support system at home. For eg. Bill Clinton is very lucky to have Hilary Clinton stand beside him even when he made the biggest mistake of his life.

For Barack Obama, he has Michelle Obama. She has proven herself to be worthy of a wife that is so supportive of her husband, so strong in her values and know what are the right priorities of her life.

She has famously said that her 2 beautiful girls are the "center of the universe" for her and Barack.

How Barack and Michelle Met:

The Obama romance began in the spring of 1988. Michelle was a first-year attorney at a Chicago law firm. Word rippled through the law office that a hot-shot Harvard law student would be working at the firm that summer. She saw a photograph of the new hire and was less than dazzled.

She told Chicago Sun Times in 2004 "I thought, OK, he's probably not all that terrific, and he's probably kind of a clown, and then I found out that his name was Barack Obama, And like everybody else, Ithought, 'Well, what kind of name is that?'"

Michelle learned she'd been assigned to mentor the new guy. He reportedly didn't have much interest in corporate law, but did have a lot of interest in Michelle. Barack was less geeky than he appeared in his photo, and he wasn't the cocky Harvard student she'd been expecting.

Michelle found herself laughing at the same things as Barack. "I was charmed, and we became instant friends after [the] first conversation," Michelle Obama said.

"We should go out. He had no special lines. Barack's not some line-giver." Michelle said this of Barack recently to Ryan Seacreast on his KIIS FM radio show. At first, she said no to Barack repeatedly. She wasn't keen on office dating. Michelle even tried to fix him up with other young women. But the future U.S. senator wouldn't give in.

"Eventually I wore her down," he wrote in his 2006 book, The Audacity of Hope.

Their first date included a day at the Art Institute of Chicago, a drink at the top of the John Hancock Center, and a movie -- Spike Lee's "Do the Right Thing."

"He swept me off my feet," said Michelle Obama, recalling how her date made her laugh and intrigued her with his "deep understanding" of art.

Sitting on a curb, they shared their first kiss over Baskin-Robbins ice cream.

"I asked her if I could kiss her," Obama wrote. "It tasted of chocolate."

She said "she fell in love with him for the same reason many other people respect him; his connection with people."

Wedding Date: On October 18, 1992, Michelle and Barack's wedding ceremony was performed by Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, Illinois.

Children:Barack and Michelle have two daughters, Malia Ann Obama: Born in 1999 and Natasha Obama: Born in 2001.

And now he could be the President of America and she could be first lady. Whatever happens, I hope they will always the special simple love story of how they met and how they fell in love.

Source from here and here

How to find 30-something singles....

One of my first entries in this blog is about 30-something singles. I was a 30 something single woman and I understand the emotional ups and downs that one faces when faced with the relationship question.

You wonder when the ONE is going to appear. You feel the eligible men/women seem to be lesser and lesser. It also feels that everyone else around is either married or getting married. When is it your turn? You try to go out more or socialize but sometimes it just seem fruitless. You avoid family gathering or wedding dinners for fear of the question - "When is it your turn?". You avoid going out with couples so that you don't feel left out. You sometimes feel lonely and desperate. You snap at your mom whenever she asked you about your love life. You hate CNY cos when your relatives give you an angpow they will say...this is the last year ok. And probably the list goes on.

Sometimes it feels like there is no light at the end of tunnel but have faith, I am sure everyone who desires to find the ONE will eventually meet your own the ONE. I did.

Ok back to the topic of 30-something singles....since I was only writing from the female perspective and the feeling is that there are no eligible men out there. I am encouraged to find out that there are single men out there who also feel there are no eligible women out there. So there is hope, it is a matter of time and fate to bring these single people together.

I received a note from Quagmire recently after he read my "When you are 30 something..entry.

Here are the edited version of his note -

I am single 30-something Chinese guy and my social life has dwindled to zero.

I am not looking for anything specific (let that happen naturally) but I just feel when you finally have the means to try new things suddenly all your friends around you are gone. Life is so boring.

For guys it is terrible because once a friend has a girlfriend or married he won't be able to hang out with the group anymore. I am the only one left. So I am just looking for people to hang out with and hopefully find someone special.



In his note, he wrote about taking risks, doing something different to make new friends. I just felt a sincere honesty from him. It is not desperation or anything like that. It is just reaching out to do something about what he wants.



Quagmire - if you are reading, thank you for your note. I applaud for you taking the effort. I urge you to continue what you are doing, taking risks, making new friends but importantly enjoy the journey, enjoy the things you are doing. I know that you want to get to the end result (of finding someone special eventually) and sometimes it can feel frustrating when you are not there yet. But remember you will be happier if you focus on enjoying the journey of your life, appreciate time you spent with friends and family, and make effort to try new things and make new friends. And one day when you are not even thinking about it, your special someone will just appear and things may happen so fast you won't even remember the wait.



If you have a website or FB, send me a link and single friends can connect with you.

Beautifying Beauty & The Beast....

Yeah...The truth is that I suck in understanding the technical aspects on how to beautiful my blog. Have been meaning to change the layout and the look but it took forever as I was just counting on my better half to improvise it for me.

He did it and the new layout looks good but there are just some minor tweaks here and there that we still need to do.

I look forward to any feedback that you may have. Let me know and I will try my best to work on it.

PMS - a myth or reality?

PMS – PreMenstrual Syndrome – something feared by men and usually denied by women. :)

The wiki definition – Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) (sometimes refered to as PMT or Premenstrual Tension) is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle.

So is there really such thing as PMS? Do women really have bizarre behaviors just before their monthly period?

This is my experience.

I never believed in PMS, I never experienced it before. I did not understand why people actually say that women have erratic behaviors every month. It is a myth definitely!! Probably something created by men to slander the womankind. :)

Then I hit my 30s. Just to be clear it only happened on a few occasions. Very rare ok but it happened. I can’t describe it. It went something like this. I would start by feeling a little blue, a little down and a little melancholy. Then I would be irritable or I would get a bit emotional. Why I noticed it? I was emotional over small things and worse, sometimes to the brink of tears. Crazy right??? Some silly things would spark me off. It happened one month and then the next month. I noticed the pattern and it was always before my period due date. I was mortified. Luckily it was only my boyfriend who took the brunt of my emotional state.

I stopped myself; I told myself I would not let this myth be a reality. I am a lot more conscious of my behavior and mood swings. So far so good.

So guys out there….. PMS is a myth as far as I am concerned. Believe it! *wink**, *wink**

My Best Friend's Wedding

I am sure all of us at one point or another have good friends from the opposite sex. Whether it is friends from high school, colleagues, or just friends you met along the way, there are some who have become more than acquaintances.

If you were both single, have you wondered how come both of you never got together?

I guess for some, you never ever considered your friend as a potential bf/gf. Friends are friends, they are not bf/gf material. Maybe it is also because you know them so well, eg. how nerdy they are, how bossy they are, that you never gave them a second thought. They are great as friends but nothing beyond.

Recently, one of my old university male friend got married. He has always been a good friend and whenever I need him, he is always willing to help. We may not keep in touch regularly but whenever we meet up, we still have a close friendship. While he is a nice guy, I have never considered him as a bf or husband material. He’s too nerdy, he is so unromantic, he is so square, he is rather boring – those were my impression of him as a boyfriend. Infact, most of my girlfriends also have the same impression thus never giving him a serious consideration.

He got married recently and he married a really lovely girl. They looked wonderful together and seem really suited for each other. After getting married, I somehow see him in a different light. He is such a caring husband, he seems so adventurous, he is very much THE PERFECT boyfriend/husband material. I wondered how come I did not see these qualities in him before.

My single girlfriends all agreed that he has all the eligible qualities now but unfortunately he is no longer eligible. It’s too late! He is taken!

So the question I have in my mind - does one appear more appealing once they are attached? :)

With this, I remember the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding starring Julia Robert. She went berserk when her best guy friend told her that he is in love and getting married. She freaked out and decided that she is in love with him and can’t let him go and went all out to spoil the wedding.

This movie is not my favorite love movie but I realize now sometimes the rock we have may seem just like any rock, but when someone else decides to take it, the rock becomes like a diamond and we wish we had noticed its shine in the first place.

Let me know your thoughts!

Being Silly with Each Other

One of the best things that both I and my husband have is the ability to be silly with each other. This is really special bond between the both of us.

I strongly encourage all couples to have their silly moments. It really brings 2 people together; you can be yourself and laugh at each other’s silliness.

It is difficult to describe on what silliness are because it would be different for every couple.

What I and my husband do are often spontaneous and just spur of the moment. Let me share with you some examples. It sounds so silly even as I was writing it.

1) We play act – eg. sometimes we pretend we are lawyers fighting a case, sometimes we become a Korean couple (eg we talk gibberish Korean language)
2) We have many pet names for each other
3) We act like kids or talk like babies or treat each other like babies
4) We gossip about other people. And I do mean exaggerated gossips with hand gestures and all.
5) We talk excitedly about small things.
6) We tickle each other, tease each other and make fun of each other. And it is all done in a light hearted way.
7) We have pet toys, eg. our pillows and blankets and we pretend that we love our pillows and blanket more. My husband will often pretend that he like to huggy his bolster more than me, I will tend try to get his attention to focus on me instead.
8) We tell each other that we are going to fart before doing so.

I cherished these silly moments, I feel lwe are like 2 kids playing and running around, laughing without a care in the world.

Do you have your silly mooments?

Sex @ Work. How to be safe?

SEX @ Work – How to be Safe?

I read this article the other day and I thought it is appropriate since I have been writing about office affairs.

These are some of the tips on how to be safe when you want to be “dangerous” at work!

1) Choose your partners wisely. If you are wise, don’t go for the married ones, no matter how tempting. Try not to go for your boss or your superiors. And definitely don’t go for your subordinate. Best if both of you don’t work in the same projects or department.

2) Talk about how you want handle the relationship from the beginning. Do you wanna keep it a secret or be open, how to you want to address each other in the office environment, what happens if you both break-up, etc

3) Play it cool. No physical contact, no telling glances, no pet name calling. Office colleagues are like CCTVs. They pick up on cues almost instantly.

4) Don’t tell anyone from the office. If you want to keep your relationship under wraps, do not confide to anyone in your office not even your closest officemate!

5) No not leave any email trails, don’t leave the office at the same time, don’t take annual leaves together and last but not least get your resumes updated, just in case :)



Click here and here for my previous postings

Sex @ Work. The Pros and Cons.

There is a saying – THE OFFICE is the new Singles Bar! It is no surprise that office romance / affairs are much talked about. It is probably the most interesting and refreshing gossips among office colleagues! Who does not relish a good gossip especially when it is about someone you know? Better still if it is about your boss!! Unless you are the target of the gossip!

With Careers and Love at stake, I thought it would be nice to access the risks and the rewards of love among the office cubicles.

Rewards
- Sleeping your way to the top!
- Your love liaisons can be on company expense!
- Car pooling to work.
- A quickie anytime.
- You definitely have at least one thing in common!
- You can see each other every day, every hour.

Risks
- You can see each other every day, every hour!
- You risked getting fired. There are some companies who do have allow spouses to work together, one of you would have to leave the company.
- You can’t assert authority with your office lover
- If you break up, you still have to see him/her every day
- If you are married and having an office romance, the chances of keeping it a secret is almost impossible. You may think nobody know but trust me, people know!
- Your love quarrels are the morning gossips for your colleagues.

These are the rewards and risks that I can think of.

Anyone has other new or different perspectives?

As for me, I prefer not to eat and shit at the same place if I can help it!

Sex in the Office

Being out of town, one of the things I miss most is meeting up with my BFFs. Catching up on their lives, men, gossips, shopping together etc are just pleasures that women enjoy. Now that I am back in town, I cherish the dinners, teas that I have with them, just talking and acting like silly teenagers.

Obviously “MEN” remains the main topic. My friends are mostly still single and finding out about their latest conquests or rather lack of them definitely dominate the air-time.

Also the occasional gossips about other people’s affairs often draws "uhhhs" and "aahhs" from everyone.

At last night’s girly catch-up, I was surprised how much the topic revolved around sex and affairs between co-workers.

“My CEO and HR Director were caught having sex in his office!!”
“My boss is going after this new colleague of mine. He is so old, married with grown up kids and she is only mid 20s.”
“This lady in her mid 40s has been the girlfriend / mistress of my director for the past 15 years. It is so pitiful cos she live in a big house all alone.”

All these kind of stories were buzzing around with everyone having at least one gossip to relate.

I would say office romance is no surprise. When you spend so much of your time in the same environment with the same people there would be bound to be some sparks for better or worse.
Some statistics indicated that at least 47% of workers have an office affair. Can you imagine that, every 2 colleagues that you meet, one could be having an office affair?? If you go to lunch with one colleague, either you or she/he could be having an affair in the office. Ha ha…maybe both of you are having an affair with each other. LOL!

So do you think it is a good idea to have office romance? Whether it is for both single individuals or worse if they are married to other people?

Is it advisable to Eat and Shit at the Same Place?

Sex before Marriage Part Deux

I agree that many people today do not find any need or compelling reasons to abstain from sex before marriage. You will be considered so old fashioned and backward to even as to suggest it. However, they are many who make that decision of abstinence. Religion plays a big part. In the bible, it is stated very clearly why sex before marriage is not permissible.

I am a Christian and I believe in and abide by God’s word.

However, I don’t want to preach about religion and why it is not right to have sex before marriage. But what I want to do is to give a few perspectives on why I feel we should really consider not having sex before marriage.

These are purely my views and may not be from a biblical standpoint.

1) No Sex = No Risk of contracting STDs! Period!

2) No Sex = None unwanted pregnancies. Everytime you have sexual intercourse, you put yourself at risk of bringing a child to the world. Sounds dramatic and far fetching?! But that is the truth! Face it! Often we don’t think about the consequences of sexual intercourse. It is just pleasure for the moment. However, please be aware that there is a chance (no matter how small) that you may bring a child to the world. And that is a huge responsibility. Are you prepared?

3) You may say there is such thing as protection. As I know, there is not one contraceptive which is 100% guaranteed. Condoms are only 99% safe so there is still a possibility of getting pregnant. I am sure each of us would know of someone, a friend, a relative who had an unwanted pregnancies, unwed mothers, abortions etc. Do you want to expose yourself to that risk?

4) Due to the possibility of a child, I believe that sex should be for those who are committed by law to each other. I am not saying that just because they are married they will be responsible parents. But at the very least, they have decided to commit to each other. If a child happens, I would think the percentage of the child being raised properly is higher.

5) No heartbreaks or regrets if you and him/her do not make it. Break-ups are hard enough and I guess a lot of times it is harder for women if sex was involved.

6) Make sex something special by marking it as an act of union or something symbolic as part of getting married. Therefore, it brings alive the word “making love” vs “having sex”. If getting married is so important for couples, why can’t the sex part be made sacred too?

7) If you have sex early on the relationship, you may miss really knowing the person. Sex in the beginning of a relationship is always very exciting, it is passionate and frequent. If that happens in the beginning of the relationship, you may not get to know the person for who they are. Sex may have clouded our evaluation and judgment of this new partner we have. It probably takes away time that can be spent to really get to know each other. When the sex passion dies down, you may discover that you don’t have anything in common or any desire for each other except for sex. And that is not definitely not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

8) When you find Mr Right or your ideal partner, this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The road is long, probably 40-50 years if you are lucky. You want to space out the progression or the stages of relationship. First you date, get to know each other, you hold hands, kiss etc. Then you make commitment, there is the engagement, the wedding etc. Next is the pleasure – the first time becoming one. Then you spend time enjoying sex with each other. Then comes the babies and then both of you bring up the children and then you grow old together. Space out the different stages. Don’t try to cramp everything at the same time like DATE, SEX, BABY MARRIAGE – all in one year!

So, are you convinced? Did I manage to have you see a new perspective? Anyway, these are my views, it may be outdated but I fundamentally believe that it is for the better to refrain from sex before marriage. Make it special!

P/S – If you have had sex with your previous partners before, it’s ok, it’s not too late to consider refraining with your future partner. If you believe that it will be better for your relationship, then do it. Also, I heard that after 5 years of no sex, you are a virgin again! :)

Part Un