Beethoven's Love Letters

Still inspired after watching the movie Sex and The City, I decided to check around for the Beethoven's "love letter" mentioned in the movie. The one that Carrie read to Mr Big (it's so weird that Carrie actually called him "John" in the movie). In the end....Mr Big whispered to Carrie the 3 line from Beethoven's love letter.

These letters were found in Beethoven's desk after he died. They were not addressed to anybody, so it is impossible to know who he was writing to. Historians feel they were written to a married woman who he loved dearly, and who was leaving the city at the time of these letters.

Here is the letter. Be in love....hmmmm

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine

ever mine

ever ours

Sex and The City - Love Letters of Great Men

If you have seen the movie, you would know that the scene above (whereby she reads from a book titled Love Letters of Great Men) is pivotal to the overall movie's plot.


Basically, after the movie release, fans all over the world started searching for this book. Ah ha....it DOES NOT EXIST!!


The closest text in the real world apparently is "Love Letters From Great Men and Women: From the Eighteenth Century to the Present Day," first released in the 1920s and reissued last year by Kessinger Publishing, which specializes in bringing back old works.


Infact due to its demand, British firm Macmillan spotted the gap in the market and decided to issue a new publication with the same title.
It contains intimate communiques from historical figures including Pliny, Henry VIII, Mozart, Napoleon, Prince Rainier III and Oscar Wilde. The book that was published May 12, 2008 by John C. Kirkland. It has the exact excerpts used in the movie itself. It is available to buy on Amazon.com.


So fans out there, the book did not exist before but the inspiration came from the book released in 1920 and then after the movie's success, some smart fella decided to publish a book with the exact title and concept.

Sex and The City - The Movie

I watched it finally. It was date night for me and husband and for 50cents tickets, it was well worth it.

I was pleasantly surprised on how well the movie turned out. I totally enjoyed the series but movie making is a totally different ball-game. And I must say the writers did a great job. For months after the movie release, I avoided all news about the movie and I am glad I did cos I really did not know the plot of the movie. Thus, I was pleasantly surprised.

Highlights of the show for me -

1) Carrie during the Vogue photoshoot - It was wow!, She looked fantastic, she looked like a supermodel. It was every women's dream come true. Gorgeous.

2) When Mr Big did not turn up at the wedding and both their cars met. Carrie got out and hit Mr Big with the roses. I thot it was classic and very real cos I could really feel the emotions of being jilted and that reaction was so real. But guess who stole the scene away? For me, it was Charlotte. After Carrie hit Mr Big, she turned and leaned on Charlotte crying. It was Charlotte's glare at Mr Big and one word NO! was enough to say it. DON'T COME NEAR MY FRIEND! YOU BACK OFF! YOU'VE HURT HER ENOUGH.

3) Charlotte pooping in her pants. Oh my! That was so funny! It was quite a moment!

4) Brooklyn Bridge - When Miranda and Steve ran into each other's arms. It was such a touching moment. And the lead up to it was pretty symbolic. Basically when they meet, it is about putting the past behind and moving forward together as a couple. It was really emotional as both of them really brought out the emotions. Not forgetting the sex scene after (if you all saw the uncensored version), it was really passionate, almost desperation of hurt and joy, pain and happiness on being united as one. Great performance!

5) Samantha and her naked sushi body. It's so funny. Something that I thot of but never would dare to do of course.

6) Miranda and her bushy bush down there. I think after the movie, a lot of ladies went for a trim. :)

I would say the movie was done nicely. It really kept the essence of the series very well. It had the drama required for a movie, though a bit corny at times but overall it was very smooth, very entertaining. A definite can-see movie for the hopeless romantics.

My Husband

I have been married for a year.
I have lived with my husband for 6 mths.
Strange?
During our courtship, our relationship have been mainly long distance.
He is in US and I am in Malaysia. Thousand of miles apart.
After we got married, I still stayed in Malaysia for 6 mths before joining him in US.
So now, I have officially been a housewife for 6 mths.
It was wonderful, I cook, bake, garden, watch TV and shop, living the typical housewife life.
I am going back to Malaysia to visit my family for one month leaving this Thursday morning.

My husband called me yesterday from work and said -
" Dear, I am so sad you are going away for one month, I am going to miss you. I think I am going to take Thurs and Friday off from work."

In my mind, I was like - "Errr....for 6 mths since I have been here, you hardly take any off days (expect when we go on holidays) but you wanna take leave immediately when I go back home to visit my parents" :) you must be pretty happy to get rid of me :)

Anyway, I did not say anything as I was more amused than anything else.

So this morning before he went to work, he was lamenting again, how much he is going to miss me! Jokingly I said to him - " I don't know if you are going to miss me but you sure is eager to get rid of me since you are taking leave from work immediately when I step on the plane"

He was shocked that I saw it that way as it did not occur to him at all. He thot he would take leave because he would feel so down when I go away and taking some time off from work would be a good idea.

I know my silly husband did not mean any harm but I was just chuckling on how different men and women think.

Baby videos...

Since I am thinking of babies, I decided to view some cute and funny baby videos on you tube. Here I am pasting a couple of funny ones.

Babies always put a smile on your face. It is even more adorable when babies are laughing. They sound so ground-up and you can't help but laugh along with them.



Brother and baby love. This is really cute.



Since it is the Beijing Olympic Games, to play tribute to the mascot...the Giant Panda of China, this video shows mother and baby panda. See till the end :)



Have a good weekend!

Signs of pregnancy...

Since my little scare this week, I decided to read up a bit on signs of pregnancy. Most of them are common, either you have read about it or you have seen it on TV before....

1) Fainting.....

2) Nausea

3) Feeling faint

4) Tender breast

5) Frequent urination

6) Extreme fatigue

7) Spotting

8) Constipation

9) Missed Period

10) This one I added. FEELING FAT! :)


Click here and here if you wanna read more.

Don't forget the Pregnancy Kit to test for sure!

How do you know you are ready for a baby?

This is the question in my mind for the last week. What are the factors to consider?

Should age be the determinant? Too young, or more like, clock is ticking.
What about money? I heard it takes a lot to bring up a child nowadays.
Should both couple have a honeymoon period after wedding before having a child? How long? One year, 6 mths, 2 years??
Pressure from parents? Should we succumb to the constant questions and nagging.
What if you are not ready and an accident happens? I mean accident of the contraceptive-lah.

I know having a baby is a wonderful thing. I love playing with kids, but since they are not mine, the responsibility is slighty different. I play and then I leave. No sweat!

I had a little scare this week. My period has been late for 4 weeks.
First week late - it's ok, my period cycle is irregular anyway.
2nd week - hmmm..still no problem-lah.
3rd week - hmmmm....strange, though it is irregular sometimes but it has been regular for the past few months.
4th week - oh oh!! panic panic! Went out to get a pregnancy kit.

It was raining. It is one of the rare days of rain during the hot summer. Infact it was pouring almost like the feelings I have inside my heart, stomach etc. Came home after buying the kit, read the instructions and did it. I hope I did it right. Though the instructions said, 10seconds of "water" (you know what I mean), I had only 5seconds. Will it work? No choice, that is all I had. Now I have to place it flat on the table.

And wait, one second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds.....heart pounding I could almost hear it. Palms sweating and my eyes fixed on the indicator of the pregnancy kit.

I see a line forming....ok...ok...it looks rather faint.....hmmm is there another line?, I wait, 1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds....errr I don't see another line.....does this mean....? errr will another line form?

No it did not. Only one faint line that went across. So I am not pregnant.

Phew! It was a relief. Not that I don't want a baby. I do want but I am just not prepared for it now. I will be, hopefully soon.

Beautiful in My Eyes....

I have been feeling a bit down these few days and usually when I am down, I tend to appreciate people around me more. I try not to let my husband see that I am feeling down as I don't want people around me feeling awkward. Somehow, my husband is always aware and he will try in his little ways to cheer me up. Like today, he said he had sore throat and decided to stay home. I know that he wants to spend sometime with me and make sure I am ok. And these little things really make me appreciate him more, make me love him more. I gave him a facial and a massage! :)

I love the song below and always imagined my hubby singing it to me. I dedicate this song to him! :)

Can men and women really be just friends?

There is always more than meet the eyes.

I believe 99% of the time, something will get in the way. I give the benefit of the doubt to the 1% of possibility that men and women can be just great friends.

Of course, I don't mean that men and women can't be friends. We all have lots of friends of the opposite sex. My question is aiming at the really goody goody, really close, really best of the buddies, call each other everyday kinda friendship between heterosexual couples.

Why I don''t believe that men and women can really be just friends?

1) Like Harry said in the movie (When Harry Met Sally) SEX will get in the way! I think this is true. If both are normal heterosexual couple and have just great chemistry to be friends...it will develop at some level to sexual chemistry right? Whether you admit of not, the thought would have entered your head more than once :)

2) If both are single and not attached and have such a great friendship, what is stopping from the feelings to develop to something more. Absolutely nothing. Don't say that she is not my type, obviously you are kidding yourself. If you are so comfortable with a friend who is of this character, you can't say he/she is not my type right?

3) Even if both are attached, when 2 friends are close, "trouble" may arise even when you least expect it. I believe that people start out as friends but if not careful and don't guard yourself and yours feelings well, sometimes we lose control even if it was not intentional. We are humans with feelings and emotions and sometimes "sh*t" happens. That's life.

I believe there is nothing wrong with men and women being best friends. I fundamentally believe that if not taken with care, feelings and emotions and even sexual tensions may arise. Therefore, if you are attached or married, it is even more important to guard yourself especially when you don't intend anything to happen. You don't intend doesn't mean it won't. Individually, we need to be very aware if our actions are over the friendship boundaries, did we get too close, could we have sent a wrong signal, could we have uncounsciously flirted with our friend etc etc.

Because, once you cross the boundaries, it could just be once but you stand the chance to lose your friend, your wife, husband, gf, bf , the ones that you love.

Now, if you are both single.....it something happens...I would say great...you found someone not only as a partner, lover but importantly a good friend!

Previous posting on this topic, click here!

When Harry Met Sally....

I found these videos on youtube. If you liked the movie, it will refresh your memories of friends turning into lovers, proving that man and woman cannot be friends :)



The below video is the famous "orgasm" scene by Meg Ryan. Be warned. Click on your own risk. You may want to turn down the volume if you are not alone, but if you like by all means...volume it up.

Can men and women be friends?

I watched When Harry Met Sally this afternoon. I have watched it before but somehow I just felt like watching it again. Love stories - I can watch again and again without feeling bored especially if the ending is good.

In the movie Billy Crystal who plays Harry in the movie said " Men and women cannot be friends because sex always get in the way"

Sex aside, I guess the more fundamental question is this - if you are such good friends, why are you not together?

So is this true? Do you agree with that men and women cannot be good friends?

I will write my thots on this in my next posting. Meanwhile, tell me what you think? Or just click and answer the poll on the left.

The Irony Of Men and Women

I guess Men and Women are different. Therefore, every time I read below, I laugh, acknowledge but will never admit.

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Why do women age much more than men?

It is so unfair! Women have to take care of the husband, have kids, work, cook, bake, wash, clean and also take care of themselves since it is pretty clear that women age faster than men. Or at least they will look older and men somehow still able to maintain their young looks.

So is it in the genes, or maybe it is because of all the sarifices of being a woman eg. giving birth!!!

Some people say that you age at least 5 years more after a kid. Your body go out of shape and the strain of childbirth just will pile on the years to the face, body, everywhere. So unfair right?

So is that why so many men stray?? They want to go for younger chicks??

Picture above is John Edwards 55, his wife Elizabeth Edwards 59, and the women he had an affair with Reille Hunter 45! Elizabeth is 4 years older, stricken with an incurable cancer - is that why John Edwards had an affair with the younger Reille Hunter?

Just putting aside whether looks play a role in his infidelity, he should never forget what an incredible woman he married. Not only she supported him thru his presidential pursuits, had 4 children, endured the anguish when one child died in a car accident, went ahead to have more children after his death when she was 46 and another baby when she was 50, diagnosed with cancer when she was 54, went thru the treatments - survived and then another blow when the cancer returned in 2007 but yet she continue to campaign for her husband presidency elections while undergoing treatment.

So after doing and enduring so much, to have her husband have an affair and have it smeared publicly, it is not easy for any woman.

But yet she is strong and still standing by her husband.

Amazing woman! Whether it is unfair that women age faster, look older than men or whatever, look beyond the looks and don't forget the inner self beauty of a woman.

Do you believe this John Edward guy?

This is John Edward's interview with ABC spokeperson.

He admitted to having the affair.

He denied being father to the baby.

He said the affair ended in 2006 so he can't be the father.

He denied giving money to Reile Hunter.

He appeared like a good man who made a mistake, and since his wife can forgive him, then everybody should.

But I don't think he is telling the whole truth. John Edwards looked nervous at some of the questions and his answers were a little evasive too.

Do you believe he is telling the whole truth? Judge for yourself. Let me know.

For me, once a liar, always a liar!

"The Women" Movie - looking forward to this.

I am looking forward to this show. Please click here to view link and watch the video.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20217493,00.html

Firstly, I am a fan of Meg Ryan and it's been a long time since she has acted in any movies.
Furthermore, this movie has 2 other powerhouse actresses - Annette Benning and Eva Mendes and even Jada-Pinkett-Smith.

Since I am on the topic of infidelity....this movie is exactly it.
In the clip above, you will find the shock of Meg Ryan finding out about her husband's infidelity in the most unexpected place.

Seriously, the shock of knowing your's husband/bf's infidelity is really unimaginable. I don't wish it upon anyone. Probably it is better not to know :(

Anyway, hopefully it will be a good movie. It will be out probably Sept 2008.

Infidelity

Since I am writing about infidelity (read my previous postings), here I am sharing a poem I found written by Vyne Daguasi.


INFIDELITY

Can one heart possibly beat twice at a time?
Can one heart possibly sail in two rivers at a time?
Can one soul possibly have two soul mates?
Can one “I LOVE YOU” possibly uttered twice by one lips at a time?

Sweet beginnings,
Became bitter endings.
Love that were sacred,
Became poisonous hatred

All I’m asking is loyalty
I want his sincerity
I demand pure honesty
For I totally loathe infidelity.

Vyne Daguasi

Reasons why Women stay with their cheating Men?

I guess there are many reasons why. And only the woman who makes that decision can justify why.

This is what Hilary Clinton said when she was interviewed on Tyra Banks show on why she chose to stay with Bill Clinton after his infamous fall from grace "affair" with Monica Lewinsky.
"I really had to dig down deep and think hard about what was right for me, what was right for my family."

These are some of the reason why wives choose to stay with their husbands who cheat -

Love
Convenience
Financial reasons
Not willing to give up lifestyle
Insufficient proof of infidelity
For the sake of the children
Fear of change
Low self esteem
Bad timing
Thinking the cheater will change
To achieve career goals
Hoping counseling will help
Fear of being alone
Loyalty
Religious beliefs
Desire to keep the family intact
Belief that it won't happen again

I found this website whereby this lady who is an expert on infidelity. You can check out her website and blog.

About Ruth Houston:
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of Is He Cheating on You - 829 Telltale Signs, which lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs most people overlook. Frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, Ruth has been quoted in USA Today, The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, Cosmopolitan, FoxNews.com, ABCNews.com, msnbc.com, MSN Lifestyle, iVillage, and numerous others. Ruth has also been a guest on The Today Show, Fox News, 1010 WINS, CNN, Fox News, ABC News, NBC News, and over 360 other radio and TV talk shows worldwide.
For more infidelity information visit Ruth's website at http://www.infidelityadvice.com/ or her infidelity blog at http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/

Men are CHEATERS! CHEATERS! LIARS! LIARS!

Another scandal here in USA involving a prominent former Democratic Presendential Candidate Senator John Edward. He is young-looking and handsome....a very potential candidate and also a sad story as his wife is battling an incurable cancer. So there are probably some sympathy voters but some did criticize him for running in the presenditial race even though his wife is sick.


Anyway recently, there were some allegations that he fathered a child with filmmaker Rielle Hunter. He denied the allegations saying that it was "tabloid thrash".


After some pressure from the Senate Committee, he finally admitted today..to the extramarital affair. He denies he is the father of the baby and also stated he is not in love with Hunter. He also stated his wife does not know of the affair.


Are his actions justified? Should he be forgiven? Not only he had an affair, he lied about it too. Stupid!



Above picture with his wife. Actually he is rather good-looking for a 55 years old man huh? He has the looks, the money and the power. BUT that doesn't give him the right to have an affair!

Do you wanna know if your man is cheating?

Have you ever asked yourself this question?

Some people say, there are things better not know. It wouldn't hurt if you don't know. When you do know, it will probably feel a water balloon burst on your head and there is no way to turn back the clock to stop the water from coming down.

What is your answer to the question?

Here are my answers -

1) If he is cheating on me on an on-going basis eg (he keeps a mistress) - Yes I want to know cos I will leave him! Like the Chinese proverb - You can't put one foot on 2 boats. Therefore, sorry this boat will be sailing away!

2) If he "itchy backside" and willingly go to bed with another woman even just one time, yeah I want to know, and yeah I will leave him too.

3) If he had a one night stand - hmmm, this is a tough one. So let's say he made a mistake, drunk or whatever (though I still think that you are never completely drunk) BUT let's say he made a one mistake, he is super remorseful and will never do it again, he feels guilty and he wants to come clean although his wife/gf does not suspect anything - this case, I am inclining to say better don't tell me. I don't want to know cos once it is out, our relationship will never be the same again.

4) Another tough one - let's say he had a short term relationship, he broke it off but the mistress became pregnant and have a child! He doesn't want to be with her cos he realize he loves his wife! Arrrrgh this sounds like a plot in soap operas but I am sure it happens. So this one I think I would want to know but will I leave my man? Hmmm tough to say....The fact that I know he cheated, hmmm likely I will leave him!

Sigh, whatever scenarios I think it is just tough to forgive a cheating man. (answer the poll question on the left panel). So if I know my man cheated, I don't think I can stay with him. But that's me and that is what I say now. If it really happens (touch wood, touch wood) at that time, my answer could be different. There are many reason why a woman choose to stick by a cheating man. Sometimes it is not for others to judge to say she is stupid, weak or whatever. It is her choice. Whether it is a stupid choice or not, only she will know.

So what about you? Do you want to know if your man is cheating on you?

Do you stand by a cheating man?

It must be every woman's worst nightmare to find out her man has cheated on her.

I cannot imagine the anguish!

What would she do? Leave him? Stand by him?

It is not an easy decision.

If you are married, there are many more considerations. Divorce, children etc etc.

But if you are single, would it make it easier to leave the man?

Some say, once a cheater, always a cheater. Is there any truth to that? Does he deserve a second chance.

If he say he is really sorry and will never do it again, does it make it ok? Will you forgive him?

What is the whole world knows about his infidelity? Would you still stand by him?

There are so many public infidelities and yet the woman stood by the man.

The most famous should be Bill Clinton and Hilary Clinton.

For the next few weeks in Malaysia's Blogsphere it would be Kenny Sia and Samantha Poh.

Would you stand by your man if he cheated? Just click the poll on the left hand side and let me know.

Single ladies - You are on top of the tree :) Read this!

Girls are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right boy to come along,
the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

I found this article - though it was rather nice and assuring for the single ladies. But I would not call the attached ones rotten la. We were just picked first. But that doesn't mean that the top ones are not special so just wait for the your brave knight in shinning armour.

Romance Movies..are these designed for couples?

Admit it! Romantic movies are for chicks. They are chick flicks. They are not design for guys. Guys don't enjoy them, don't want to see them, and don't want to be seen watching these shows.


But somehow, girls being girls, we love to drag our men to watch these movies. And we will even plan a romantic setting which involves watching a romantic movie. Trust me, the guys hate it. They rather watch Star Wars 100 times than to watch a cheesy, teary romantic movie.


So my advice, don't force your husband, boyfriend to watch these movies with you. You may think it is a romantic night together but trust me it will be a torture nite for him! So, just watch with your girlfriends, at least all of you will enjoy.

I have resigned to watching these movies myself. Just get the DVD and I can watch them again and again.


These are my all time favourite shows, the ones I can watch again and again and don't find it boring. It just makes my heart feel nice.




Top Romantic Movies for Me :-

1. Sleepless in Seattle - Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. I just love their movies. In this, they only meet in the last 5 mins of the movies and yet it was so romantic.

2.Pretty Women - A hooker and a super rich guy. Aiyo! Romantic meh? Wakaka...I like. Richard Gere very handsome. And He is the Knight in the White Shining limousine!

3. You've Got Mail - Ahhh! Another Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan romantic classics. Zing! You've got Mail! So romantic.

4. Jerry Maguire - I am no Tom Cruise's fan but this is quite romantic. "You complete me!" Waaaaaaaaa! How the heart not melt?

5. One Fine Day - Starring George Clooney (yummylicious) and Michelle Pheiffer. This is ok only la but still not bad. Can watch again and again too if got nothing to watch.

6. Gone With The Wind - I love the book so I love the movie too. The dashing Rhett Butler and the manipulative Scarlett O'hara! Classic of the Classics!

7. Kate & Leopold - You've guessed it, I like Meg Ryan in all her romantic movies :) But this one, got Hugh Jackman. Wahlau! His body is bodylicious! So I like!

That's my top movies for now......come to think of it...all quite old ones oredi!

Dating services....

Ok ok...last posting of blind dates......since not much respond on this topic :) read and give me some respond :)

Since I was writing on blind dates, and maybe some of you wanna consider doing it, You never know unless you try right? Anyway, this is not a paid advertisement but since this company is the only one I know I thot I could share about it.

Ok, I have never tried it myself but I have introduced friends to it. Only one guy friend I know actually went for it and he had good reviews. Errr..he also ended up marrying the boss :) no no, not the founder la.

Anyway, I have been encouraging my single girl friends to go for it. Great way to know people without feeling intimated. It's just lunch, short and sweet.

So, if you are one of the brave ones or you decide to do something different for a change....check this out. LUNCH Actually is Asia's first lunch dating specialist who arranges fun and quality dates for busy, pro-active professionals in a discreet, fun and no pressure environment.

So I think this is what happens, you sign up, they profile you, give you some profile dates, you agree, you go meet up for lunch with some of them and see where it goes...

Let me know if any of you actually go for it! Good luck!

5 tips to Blind Dating

Writing about my blind date experiences sure brought back memories. Those were the days when I was happily single. Ahhh...... now happily married..(that's for my hubby incase he is reading)

I believe one should experience blind dates if desired. It is not that scary but these are my top 5 tips on blind dating.

1) Comfortable
Get comfortable about your blind date - get more background on him/her, interests, where he is from?, occupation etc.
Get comfortable by calling each other even just to arrange for the date. You may not have seen his face but hearing his/her voice gives you a certain degree of comfort.
Get comfortable with what you wear and how you look. Meeting yr blind date is daunting enough without having to worry about how you look.
Get comfortable with the location for the date - Make sure it is well lit and populated area. Practice caution no matter what.

2) Short and sweet
Make the first date short and sweet. It's better to go for drinks instead of dinner. Don't let the date go beyond 2 hours incase both of you have nothing to talk about. 2 hours is enough to get to know a person. Therefore going for coffee or happy hours would be just nice.

3) Plan ahead
Don't go on a day when you are busy or have lots going on. You wanna have a slow day to prepare yourself. Also don't make your blind date a last minute plan eg. your friends cancelled on you so you call him/her.

4) Courtesy
Extend the same courtesy you would with any dates you go on. Just because it is a blind date, don't forget your manners. Be on time and put an honest effort to get to know the person.

5) Be positive
Last but not least, it is the attitude that counts. Be positive, take all in stride (whether good or ugly), be yourself, make the most of it.

Again, as I have said in my earlier postings, only do it if you are cool about blind dates. If you are not comfortable, don't do it. It's for the cool people.
Take the poll on the left side :)

Read
1st posting - Blind Dates - The Set Up!
2nd posting - Blind Dates - The Actual Date
3rd posting - Blind Dates - The Good and The Ugly

Blind Dates - The Good and The Ugly

I think I have been on 3 blind dates (at least the 3 that I remember). I was in my mid twenties, adventurous and ready to try anything. Also these guys came highly recommended by my friends and so I thot what the heck? Just go for it.

It turned out well. Guy No 1 - good-looking and pleasant. We had a good time, good conversations, good dinner. Too bad I can't remember anything about him now not even his face or even his name. Yup, I guess both of us were not interested, we had a good time, we parted and never saw each other again.

Guy No 2 - Nice guy. We dated again. He even asked me to be his date for his company function and he was like one of the young directors in the company and I was sitting on the main table. Luckily, I was dressed for the occasion. However, we just remain friends. No sparks.

Then I was in my early 30s. And that was when I made the mistake. I gave in to my mom!

So here my mom was trying her hand at a bit of match making. God forbid for a Chinese girl still not married in her 30s. Not her daughter, she just gotta do something!

So after months of totally selling her friend's son credentials to me.....errr...late 30s, very successful, lawyer, very good boy etc etc, I gave in.

Me - So, what's wrong with him?
Mom - Nothing, he is a very nice boy, very successful, making a lot of money.
Me - Have you met him?
Mom - No, but he is a very nice boy, very successful, making a lot of money.
Me - Are you sure there is nothing wrong with him? Why is he still not married?
Mom - Nothing, nothing, don't worry, he is a very nice boy , very successful, making a lot of money.
Me - He better not turn out to be a psycho, arghhh!! Ok, one date, ask him to call me.
Mom - Don't worry, he is a very nice boy, very successful, making a lot of money.

So, giving my mom's choice the benefit of the doubt, I went.

Hmmmm...how do I put it? I don't claim to be Miss Universe so I don't want to comment about looks. It is not fair. All I can say is that he wasn't what I expected.
He is just weird I guess, I can't describe it. I was just uncomfortable from the moment we said hello. But like I said earlier (in my earlier post - click here) I should at least go thru with the date.

So we went to a restaurant, I made sure I ordered my favourite dishes (hoping the date will be more bearable) but I was just uncomfortable and could not wait for it to be over. Then it happened. He saw a friend come in to the same restaurant, he looked uncomfortable. The friend came over and in a boisterous voice, talked to him. I can sense that they are not good friends from their sarcastic tone. Then the friend looked at me and introduce himself and then he said...pointing to my date - "Don't trust this guy. He is not what he seems!" He laughed and walked off.

WTF??? What was that about? My date then told me to ignore him saying they are collegues and apparently they have some rivalry going on. I was like...errrr ok. In my heart - "Get me out of here!!!!!"

I ate dinner quickly, gave a Oscar nominated performance of how busy I am and I have not finish an assignment by my boss and I have to go back soon to finish it. He tried to get me to have tea after dinner and I was literally grabbing my bag and saying goodbye...err..sorry sorry I have to go, I really really need to work tonight, bye bye thanks for dinner...nice meeting you....bye bye.

I never returned his calls or sms after that.

Maybe I was too fast to judge but I am definitely not going to wait around to find out whether he is psycho or not. Thanks a lot mom!

Blind Dates - The Actual Date

A good set up to a blind date (link to my previous posting) is just 20% of the battle. The bigger battle is exactly what happens when you actually go on the blind date?
I definitely agree that the anticipation of meeting your blind date is pretty daunting. It builds up all the way to the second you lay eyes on your date.

3 typical reactions (in silence please) -

1. Hurray! I scored!
2. Hmmm...ok..lets see.
3.OMG! How am I going to get thru this?

You shake hands, greetings...sit down and start the chit chat!
You know you will have a good time if within 10 minutes both of you laugh about something.
If not.....it will be a slow slow night.

All is well if you like your date. Have a good time and see where it goes.

If it is not going well....I suggest to always have an Escape Plan.
1) Ask a friend to call 1 hour into your date. If it is not going well, you can have an excuse of family emergency or friend in trouble and you have to go.
2) In your conversations, state that you are stressed cos you have some work still not done. So then after dinner you can easily say goodbye with the excuse.
3) Yawn and start looking tired. Give excuse of having stayed up the whole night to finish work. Your date would willingly let you go home early!

However, if your guy/gal date is not a jerk (just not your taste) I really think that one should at least finish the date and not escape half way. Finish the dinner, have the coffee...even if the person is not your cup of tea, he/she is still a person and everyone have feelings.

I will tell you next my actual experience when I went on blind dates, some good ones and definitely a "wrong" one. Meanwhile...answer the poll on the right panel.

Blind Dates - The Set Up!

Have you been on a blind date?

Some are ok with it, some would never do it, some say they were forced into and for some it is just about getting to know another new friend.

I think that blind dates are for cool people. If you are not cool about it, please don't do it. And never agree to do it and then turn around and say you were forced into it. It is so uncool. I say this especially for the guys cos I think guys who are cool about blind dates are pretty cool people. Of course, girls are super cool too.

So what do I mean on whether you are cool about blind dates? It means you do and act like you are on a date with actual date. Don't forget your manners just because you have not met the girl/guy before. Some people act funny and don't act at all only until they see their date's face and then decide whether they want to be cool or not.

I have been on blind dates before and luckily all the guys turned out to be really cool guys. I have rejected my friends' request for setting me up especially when I sense that the guy they are introducing are not cool about blind dates at all. For me, it is about getting to know a new friend, I am not interested in guys who are so pre-occupied and worried on whether their blind date will turn out to be a ugly fat monster or not.

So my cool blind dates usually turn out this way.

Friend informs she want to set me up with a guy friend. He is game for it. So I am cool too.
Friend will give him my number. He will call or text to make the arrangment. Actually all my blind dates call first. -

This process of the guy calling is so important! -
1) Firstly, it gives the feeling the guy is in control, kinda like he is asking the girl out.
2) Both feel comfortable cos you have chatted on the phone before.
3) Gives you opportunity to build some level of friendship before the date.

So technically it is not so awkward to meet or than the fact you have not lay eyes on each other before.

So, my advice to girls and guys out there who are considering a blind date. Be cool!
Friend who is setting them up - Make sure both boy and girl is well informed and both willing to go on a blind date. It is more awkward if one knows and the other don't.

Girls - remember to hint to your friend who is setting you up...."Give him my number and he can call me to make arrangement to meet up.

Guys - Get the girl's hp number please. Call her first, don't be afraid, girls are usually pretty friendly. Just introduce yrself and say friend's of XXX (the person introducing you).

At this point the girl should quickly respond by saying..Oh Hi!! How are you? or Good to hear from you! Please don't say - What's up??? It is so obvious he is calling to ask you out right!? Let him ask you naturally.

Guys - if you have nothing else to say just get straight to the point, it's ok (both are adults and both of you know you are being set up to go on a date right?!!). Just ask, so when are you free for dinner? Is this Friday good for you??...and then conversation will flow.....

So what happens when you meet up? ah ha...next posting...I have to dig my brain cells to remember how some of my blind dates went.....the good ones and the not so great ones :)