How come I only hear this from women? Do guys ever say this....?
Well I really don't think so......cos really all the good ones are taken somehow when you are in yr 30s. Why? cos for guys the choice of women gets larger as the guys grow older cos the youngers girls are getting older.....but for women...the pool just get smaller and smaller ...well, unless u are in for younger men..nothing wrong with that too.
Taken....nowadays is not just married....we have to face the unbearable truth that they are gay. it sucks......finding a good ok-looking is already like looking for a needle in a haystack and when u find one.......first u look for the ring..check-none- great but wait.......is he looking the other way??!!!
So for Soos...who is kinda infatuated on her latest target...yoga instructor, we had a fun time guessing. He is in his late 30s, single, he works in a gym - smells gay....but lets be positive.
So she checked with a friend, who know a friend who has a friend working with him..........ok the story he is straight...great...but apparently he hooked up with someone recently. So Soos was kinda disappointed but it's ok she can still try, right!
Then another friend told this friend and told Soos another piece of news...he is gay! Oh no...who to believe?
So I checked with my connections in my gay community friends.... the message came back..."confirmed gay"
It is past midnight, kinda late to call Soos, let's give her a good nite sleep and dream that not all the good ones are taken. She can face the reality tomorrow...
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Fear of Commitment....
So many times I have heard this phrase, read about it...what really does it mean?
Just 2 days ago a girlfriend said this to me. She broke up with her fiance probably a couple of months ago, now she is dating this other guy. It is probably pretty serious as they are looking at buying a house together. But then she said she is not sure, incase it does not work out, she is afraid she will bail out at the last minute. She is seeing it as a pattern as she examines all her previous relationships! She said she is probably has fear of commitment, fear of taking the plunge. Hmmm...So I kinda told her, if it is the right guy, she will know and will not have doubts, take it easy and just enjoy herself, don't worry too much.
So I came to think, what does this really mean....fear of commitment!
My hypothesis is that this phrase is just an mask, an excuse to cover up probably these fears :-
1) You are not 100% sure that this is Mr Right. He seems perfect, nice guy etc to everyone else but it is not 100% clicking with you.
2) You fear giving up your freedom, you are used to your life..the carefree, doing whatever I want, whenever I want and have a gf/bf by yourside but to think about marriage...is it going to change everything???!!
3) You are still looking for your soulmate! You are looking for the fireworks, the passionate, crazy, can't live without you feeling. So while you are still with him/her and everything seems fine but deep down, you are still looking out for that so called soul mate!
4) You fear that it will not last and you end up heart broken. So you begin to sabotage the relationship. You start picking on his little weaknesses and do not want to commit yourself fully in the relationship.
5) You fear you will make a mistake. You fear it will not be "happily ever after"
Well, I think the fears are all valid. But if you are in a relationship and you want to make it work, ask yourself the following questions -
1) What is the end in mind for my relationships? Do I want to get married? Have kids? Or just I don't care?
2) Do you love the person you are with?
3) Does she/he loves you?
4) Look at his/her strengths and do not make his/her strength into a weakness.
5) Are both your goals (end in mind) aligned - do you both want the same things?
I think that when you find the right guy, you will know. just like when you are shopping and making a decision to buy something....when in doubt, don't purchase. Take time, think thru and set your heart right...and when yr heart clicks, you will know whether to purchase or not.
Just 2 days ago a girlfriend said this to me. She broke up with her fiance probably a couple of months ago, now she is dating this other guy. It is probably pretty serious as they are looking at buying a house together. But then she said she is not sure, incase it does not work out, she is afraid she will bail out at the last minute. She is seeing it as a pattern as she examines all her previous relationships! She said she is probably has fear of commitment, fear of taking the plunge. Hmmm...So I kinda told her, if it is the right guy, she will know and will not have doubts, take it easy and just enjoy herself, don't worry too much.
So I came to think, what does this really mean....fear of commitment!
My hypothesis is that this phrase is just an mask, an excuse to cover up probably these fears :-
1) You are not 100% sure that this is Mr Right. He seems perfect, nice guy etc to everyone else but it is not 100% clicking with you.
2) You fear giving up your freedom, you are used to your life..the carefree, doing whatever I want, whenever I want and have a gf/bf by yourside but to think about marriage...is it going to change everything???!!
3) You are still looking for your soulmate! You are looking for the fireworks, the passionate, crazy, can't live without you feeling. So while you are still with him/her and everything seems fine but deep down, you are still looking out for that so called soul mate!
4) You fear that it will not last and you end up heart broken. So you begin to sabotage the relationship. You start picking on his little weaknesses and do not want to commit yourself fully in the relationship.
5) You fear you will make a mistake. You fear it will not be "happily ever after"
Well, I think the fears are all valid. But if you are in a relationship and you want to make it work, ask yourself the following questions -
1) What is the end in mind for my relationships? Do I want to get married? Have kids? Or just I don't care?
2) Do you love the person you are with?
3) Does she/he loves you?
4) Look at his/her strengths and do not make his/her strength into a weakness.
5) Are both your goals (end in mind) aligned - do you both want the same things?
I think that when you find the right guy, you will know. just like when you are shopping and making a decision to buy something....when in doubt, don't purchase. Take time, think thru and set your heart right...and when yr heart clicks, you will know whether to purchase or not.
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