10 signs He is in to You

When you meet a guy and you have just dated a few times, sometimes it is hard to gauge if he interested or not. Some guys want to be cool and since they are also unsure about your feelings they may not be so forthright in their pursuit.

However, there are a few tell tale signs that he is already smitten with you. Watch out for it.

1. He picks you up from the airport

2. He is comfortable listening to his phone message or phone call infront of you

3. He refers to the two of you as "we". eg We loved the James Bond movie.....

4. He calls you every morning at work and also at night before you sleep.

5. He asks you if you wanna go out shopping - any excuse to ask you out :)

6. He brings you soup when you are sick. aarrghhh!

7. He talks about his family and hints about a holiday to his home town

8. He invites you to join him on a boys night out.

9. He sends you flowers for no special reason.

10. He does not refuse when asked to be photographed together.

What do you think? Am I right? Did I miss any other pointers? Share...share....

Image or Personality?

Is the image of a person more important or the personality of a person?

When asked what type of girls or guys you like, what would your answer be?

Are you more focused on the outer image or the inner personality?

Would you be considered shallow if your answer is more about the outer image - Tall, slim, long hair etc etc?

Or would you take the time to think thru what kind of personality you like to see in your other half?

So for my dear friend Jenns, she recently met a really "eligible guy". 30-something, successful, somewhat rich, good-looking, smart, confident, a real gentleman, average height and it seemed just a perfect fit for her, she is 30-something (2 yrs older than him), successful, creative, pretty, girly, intelligent, petite.

Seemed like a perfect match in heaven.

I was so hoping that they would hit it off. Therefore discreetly, I asked the guy, what type of girls he like? Two words dashed my hope for Jenns.

"Tall and young!"

Oops...that's it. Jenns is petite and just slightly older.

Does it mean there is no chance for the both of them?

I guess generally we are all often focused on image first. That is the first that we see and then we will discover the personality later. However, sometimes we may overlook personality just because we are so fixed on the image criteria.

Have you ever had friends of the opposite sex that you would never consider as a partner for whatever reason eg. looks nerdy, a bit fat, too tall, too short etc but when he/she gets their "significant half", you see your friend in a different light. You wonder how come you did not see what his/her older half saw in your friend? You suddenly see your friend as a loving and caring bf or gf versus just the nerdy, a bit fat, too tall, too short etc friend that you know.

And you wonder what would have happened if you saw these inner qualities first?

I think that the inner qualities of a person is more important but it takes time and also heart to discover these qualities. Don't be too pre-occupied with the image of the person you want.

Personality would outlast the image.

Dating services....

Ok ok...last posting of blind dates......since not much respond on this topic :) read and give me some respond :)

Since I was writing on blind dates, and maybe some of you wanna consider doing it, You never know unless you try right? Anyway, this is not a paid advertisement but since this company is the only one I know I thot I could share about it.

Ok, I have never tried it myself but I have introduced friends to it. Only one guy friend I know actually went for it and he had good reviews. Errr..he also ended up marrying the boss :) no no, not the founder la.

Anyway, I have been encouraging my single girl friends to go for it. Great way to know people without feeling intimated. It's just lunch, short and sweet.

So, if you are one of the brave ones or you decide to do something different for a change....check this out. LUNCH Actually is Asia's first lunch dating specialist who arranges fun and quality dates for busy, pro-active professionals in a discreet, fun and no pressure environment.

So I think this is what happens, you sign up, they profile you, give you some profile dates, you agree, you go meet up for lunch with some of them and see where it goes...

Let me know if any of you actually go for it! Good luck!

5 tips to Blind Dating

Writing about my blind date experiences sure brought back memories. Those were the days when I was happily single. Ahhh...... now happily married..(that's for my hubby incase he is reading)

I believe one should experience blind dates if desired. It is not that scary but these are my top 5 tips on blind dating.

1) Comfortable
Get comfortable about your blind date - get more background on him/her, interests, where he is from?, occupation etc.
Get comfortable by calling each other even just to arrange for the date. You may not have seen his face but hearing his/her voice gives you a certain degree of comfort.
Get comfortable with what you wear and how you look. Meeting yr blind date is daunting enough without having to worry about how you look.
Get comfortable with the location for the date - Make sure it is well lit and populated area. Practice caution no matter what.

2) Short and sweet
Make the first date short and sweet. It's better to go for drinks instead of dinner. Don't let the date go beyond 2 hours incase both of you have nothing to talk about. 2 hours is enough to get to know a person. Therefore going for coffee or happy hours would be just nice.

3) Plan ahead
Don't go on a day when you are busy or have lots going on. You wanna have a slow day to prepare yourself. Also don't make your blind date a last minute plan eg. your friends cancelled on you so you call him/her.

4) Courtesy
Extend the same courtesy you would with any dates you go on. Just because it is a blind date, don't forget your manners. Be on time and put an honest effort to get to know the person.

5) Be positive
Last but not least, it is the attitude that counts. Be positive, take all in stride (whether good or ugly), be yourself, make the most of it.

Again, as I have said in my earlier postings, only do it if you are cool about blind dates. If you are not comfortable, don't do it. It's for the cool people.
Take the poll on the left side :)

Read
1st posting - Blind Dates - The Set Up!
2nd posting - Blind Dates - The Actual Date
3rd posting - Blind Dates - The Good and The Ugly

Blind Dates - The Good and The Ugly

I think I have been on 3 blind dates (at least the 3 that I remember). I was in my mid twenties, adventurous and ready to try anything. Also these guys came highly recommended by my friends and so I thot what the heck? Just go for it.

It turned out well. Guy No 1 - good-looking and pleasant. We had a good time, good conversations, good dinner. Too bad I can't remember anything about him now not even his face or even his name. Yup, I guess both of us were not interested, we had a good time, we parted and never saw each other again.

Guy No 2 - Nice guy. We dated again. He even asked me to be his date for his company function and he was like one of the young directors in the company and I was sitting on the main table. Luckily, I was dressed for the occasion. However, we just remain friends. No sparks.

Then I was in my early 30s. And that was when I made the mistake. I gave in to my mom!

So here my mom was trying her hand at a bit of match making. God forbid for a Chinese girl still not married in her 30s. Not her daughter, she just gotta do something!

So after months of totally selling her friend's son credentials to me.....errr...late 30s, very successful, lawyer, very good boy etc etc, I gave in.

Me - So, what's wrong with him?
Mom - Nothing, he is a very nice boy, very successful, making a lot of money.
Me - Have you met him?
Mom - No, but he is a very nice boy, very successful, making a lot of money.
Me - Are you sure there is nothing wrong with him? Why is he still not married?
Mom - Nothing, nothing, don't worry, he is a very nice boy , very successful, making a lot of money.
Me - He better not turn out to be a psycho, arghhh!! Ok, one date, ask him to call me.
Mom - Don't worry, he is a very nice boy, very successful, making a lot of money.

So, giving my mom's choice the benefit of the doubt, I went.

Hmmmm...how do I put it? I don't claim to be Miss Universe so I don't want to comment about looks. It is not fair. All I can say is that he wasn't what I expected.
He is just weird I guess, I can't describe it. I was just uncomfortable from the moment we said hello. But like I said earlier (in my earlier post - click here) I should at least go thru with the date.

So we went to a restaurant, I made sure I ordered my favourite dishes (hoping the date will be more bearable) but I was just uncomfortable and could not wait for it to be over. Then it happened. He saw a friend come in to the same restaurant, he looked uncomfortable. The friend came over and in a boisterous voice, talked to him. I can sense that they are not good friends from their sarcastic tone. Then the friend looked at me and introduce himself and then he said...pointing to my date - "Don't trust this guy. He is not what he seems!" He laughed and walked off.

WTF??? What was that about? My date then told me to ignore him saying they are collegues and apparently they have some rivalry going on. I was like...errrr ok. In my heart - "Get me out of here!!!!!"

I ate dinner quickly, gave a Oscar nominated performance of how busy I am and I have not finish an assignment by my boss and I have to go back soon to finish it. He tried to get me to have tea after dinner and I was literally grabbing my bag and saying goodbye...err..sorry sorry I have to go, I really really need to work tonight, bye bye thanks for dinner...nice meeting you....bye bye.

I never returned his calls or sms after that.

Maybe I was too fast to judge but I am definitely not going to wait around to find out whether he is psycho or not. Thanks a lot mom!

Blind Dates - The Actual Date

A good set up to a blind date (link to my previous posting) is just 20% of the battle. The bigger battle is exactly what happens when you actually go on the blind date?
I definitely agree that the anticipation of meeting your blind date is pretty daunting. It builds up all the way to the second you lay eyes on your date.

3 typical reactions (in silence please) -

1. Hurray! I scored!
2. Hmmm...ok..lets see.
3.OMG! How am I going to get thru this?

You shake hands, greetings...sit down and start the chit chat!
You know you will have a good time if within 10 minutes both of you laugh about something.
If not.....it will be a slow slow night.

All is well if you like your date. Have a good time and see where it goes.

If it is not going well....I suggest to always have an Escape Plan.
1) Ask a friend to call 1 hour into your date. If it is not going well, you can have an excuse of family emergency or friend in trouble and you have to go.
2) In your conversations, state that you are stressed cos you have some work still not done. So then after dinner you can easily say goodbye with the excuse.
3) Yawn and start looking tired. Give excuse of having stayed up the whole night to finish work. Your date would willingly let you go home early!

However, if your guy/gal date is not a jerk (just not your taste) I really think that one should at least finish the date and not escape half way. Finish the dinner, have the coffee...even if the person is not your cup of tea, he/she is still a person and everyone have feelings.

I will tell you next my actual experience when I went on blind dates, some good ones and definitely a "wrong" one. Meanwhile...answer the poll on the right panel.

Blind Dates - The Set Up!

Have you been on a blind date?

Some are ok with it, some would never do it, some say they were forced into and for some it is just about getting to know another new friend.

I think that blind dates are for cool people. If you are not cool about it, please don't do it. And never agree to do it and then turn around and say you were forced into it. It is so uncool. I say this especially for the guys cos I think guys who are cool about blind dates are pretty cool people. Of course, girls are super cool too.

So what do I mean on whether you are cool about blind dates? It means you do and act like you are on a date with actual date. Don't forget your manners just because you have not met the girl/guy before. Some people act funny and don't act at all only until they see their date's face and then decide whether they want to be cool or not.

I have been on blind dates before and luckily all the guys turned out to be really cool guys. I have rejected my friends' request for setting me up especially when I sense that the guy they are introducing are not cool about blind dates at all. For me, it is about getting to know a new friend, I am not interested in guys who are so pre-occupied and worried on whether their blind date will turn out to be a ugly fat monster or not.

So my cool blind dates usually turn out this way.

Friend informs she want to set me up with a guy friend. He is game for it. So I am cool too.
Friend will give him my number. He will call or text to make the arrangment. Actually all my blind dates call first. -

This process of the guy calling is so important! -
1) Firstly, it gives the feeling the guy is in control, kinda like he is asking the girl out.
2) Both feel comfortable cos you have chatted on the phone before.
3) Gives you opportunity to build some level of friendship before the date.

So technically it is not so awkward to meet or than the fact you have not lay eyes on each other before.

So, my advice to girls and guys out there who are considering a blind date. Be cool!
Friend who is setting them up - Make sure both boy and girl is well informed and both willing to go on a blind date. It is more awkward if one knows and the other don't.

Girls - remember to hint to your friend who is setting you up...."Give him my number and he can call me to make arrangement to meet up.

Guys - Get the girl's hp number please. Call her first, don't be afraid, girls are usually pretty friendly. Just introduce yrself and say friend's of XXX (the person introducing you).

At this point the girl should quickly respond by saying..Oh Hi!! How are you? or Good to hear from you! Please don't say - What's up??? It is so obvious he is calling to ask you out right!? Let him ask you naturally.

Guys - if you have nothing else to say just get straight to the point, it's ok (both are adults and both of you know you are being set up to go on a date right?!!). Just ask, so when are you free for dinner? Is this Friday good for you??...and then conversation will flow.....

So what happens when you meet up? ah ha...next posting...I have to dig my brain cells to remember how some of my blind dates went.....the good ones and the not so great ones :)