One of my first entries in this blog is about 30-something singles. I was a 30 something single woman and I understand the emotional ups and downs that one faces when faced with the relationship question.
You wonder when the ONE is going to appear. You feel the eligible men/women seem to be lesser and lesser. It also feels that everyone else around is either married or getting married. When is it your turn? You try to go out more or socialize but sometimes it just seem fruitless. You avoid family gathering or wedding dinners for fear of the question - "When is it your turn?". You avoid going out with couples so that you don't feel left out. You sometimes feel lonely and desperate. You snap at your mom whenever she asked you about your love life. You hate CNY cos when your relatives give you an angpow they will say...this is the last year ok. And probably the list goes on.
Sometimes it feels like there is no light at the end of tunnel but have faith, I am sure everyone who desires to find the ONE will eventually meet your own the ONE. I did.
Ok back to the topic of 30-something singles....since I was only writing from the female perspective and the feeling is that there are no eligible men out there. I am encouraged to find out that there are single men out there who also feel there are no eligible women out there. So there is hope, it is a matter of time and fate to bring these single people together.
I received a note from Quagmire recently after he read my "When you are 30 something..entry.
Here are the edited version of his note -
I am single 30-something Chinese guy and my social life has dwindled to zero.
I am not looking for anything specific (let that happen naturally) but I just feel when you finally have the means to try new things suddenly all your friends around you are gone. Life is so boring.
For guys it is terrible because once a friend has a girlfriend or married he won't be able to hang out with the group anymore. I am the only one left. So I am just looking for people to hang out with and hopefully find someone special.
In his note, he wrote about taking risks, doing something different to make new friends. I just felt a sincere honesty from him. It is not desperation or anything like that. It is just reaching out to do something about what he wants.
Quagmire - if you are reading, thank you for your note. I applaud for you taking the effort. I urge you to continue what you are doing, taking risks, making new friends but importantly enjoy the journey, enjoy the things you are doing. I know that you want to get to the end result (of finding someone special eventually) and sometimes it can feel frustrating when you are not there yet. But remember you will be happier if you focus on enjoying the journey of your life, appreciate time you spent with friends and family, and make effort to try new things and make new friends. And one day when you are not even thinking about it, your special someone will just appear and things may happen so fast you won't even remember the wait.
If you have a website or FB, send me a link and single friends can connect with you.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Beautifying Beauty & The Beast....
Yeah...The truth is that I suck in understanding the technical aspects on how to beautiful my blog. Have been meaning to change the layout and the look but it took forever as I was just counting on my better half to improvise it for me.
He did it and the new layout looks good but there are just some minor tweaks here and there that we still need to do.
I look forward to any feedback that you may have. Let me know and I will try my best to work on it.
He did it and the new layout looks good but there are just some minor tweaks here and there that we still need to do.
I look forward to any feedback that you may have. Let me know and I will try my best to work on it.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
PMS - a myth or reality?
PMS – PreMenstrual Syndrome – something feared by men and usually denied by women. :)
The wiki definition – Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) (sometimes refered to as PMT or Premenstrual Tension) is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle.
So is there really such thing as PMS? Do women really have bizarre behaviors just before their monthly period?
This is my experience.
I never believed in PMS, I never experienced it before. I did not understand why people actually say that women have erratic behaviors every month. It is a myth definitely!! Probably something created by men to slander the womankind. :)
Then I hit my 30s. Just to be clear it only happened on a few occasions. Very rare ok but it happened. I can’t describe it. It went something like this. I would start by feeling a little blue, a little down and a little melancholy. Then I would be irritable or I would get a bit emotional. Why I noticed it? I was emotional over small things and worse, sometimes to the brink of tears. Crazy right??? Some silly things would spark me off. It happened one month and then the next month. I noticed the pattern and it was always before my period due date. I was mortified. Luckily it was only my boyfriend who took the brunt of my emotional state.
I stopped myself; I told myself I would not let this myth be a reality. I am a lot more conscious of my behavior and mood swings. So far so good.
So guys out there….. PMS is a myth as far as I am concerned. Believe it! *wink**, *wink**
The wiki definition – Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) (sometimes refered to as PMT or Premenstrual Tension) is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle.
So is there really such thing as PMS? Do women really have bizarre behaviors just before their monthly period?
This is my experience.
I never believed in PMS, I never experienced it before. I did not understand why people actually say that women have erratic behaviors every month. It is a myth definitely!! Probably something created by men to slander the womankind. :)
Then I hit my 30s. Just to be clear it only happened on a few occasions. Very rare ok but it happened. I can’t describe it. It went something like this. I would start by feeling a little blue, a little down and a little melancholy. Then I would be irritable or I would get a bit emotional. Why I noticed it? I was emotional over small things and worse, sometimes to the brink of tears. Crazy right??? Some silly things would spark me off. It happened one month and then the next month. I noticed the pattern and it was always before my period due date. I was mortified. Luckily it was only my boyfriend who took the brunt of my emotional state.
I stopped myself; I told myself I would not let this myth be a reality. I am a lot more conscious of my behavior and mood swings. So far so good.
So guys out there….. PMS is a myth as far as I am concerned. Believe it! *wink**, *wink**
Monday, September 15, 2008
My Best Friend's Wedding
I am sure all of us at one point or another have good friends from the opposite sex. Whether it is friends from high school, colleagues, or just friends you met along the way, there are some who have become more than acquaintances.
If you were both single, have you wondered how come both of you never got together?
I guess for some, you never ever considered your friend as a potential bf/gf. Friends are friends, they are not bf/gf material. Maybe it is also because you know them so well, eg. how nerdy they are, how bossy they are, that you never gave them a second thought. They are great as friends but nothing beyond.
Recently, one of my old university male friend got married. He has always been a good friend and whenever I need him, he is always willing to help. We may not keep in touch regularly but whenever we meet up, we still have a close friendship. While he is a nice guy, I have never considered him as a bf or husband material. He’s too nerdy, he is so unromantic, he is so square, he is rather boring – those were my impression of him as a boyfriend. Infact, most of my girlfriends also have the same impression thus never giving him a serious consideration.
He got married recently and he married a really lovely girl. They looked wonderful together and seem really suited for each other. After getting married, I somehow see him in a different light. He is such a caring husband, he seems so adventurous, he is very much THE PERFECT boyfriend/husband material. I wondered how come I did not see these qualities in him before.
My single girlfriends all agreed that he has all the eligible qualities now but unfortunately he is no longer eligible. It’s too late! He is taken!
So the question I have in my mind - does one appear more appealing once they are attached? :)
With this, I remember the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding starring Julia Robert. She went berserk when her best guy friend told her that he is in love and getting married. She freaked out and decided that she is in love with him and can’t let him go and went all out to spoil the wedding.
This movie is not my favorite love movie but I realize now sometimes the rock we have may seem just like any rock, but when someone else decides to take it, the rock becomes like a diamond and we wish we had noticed its shine in the first place.
Let me know your thoughts!
If you were both single, have you wondered how come both of you never got together?
I guess for some, you never ever considered your friend as a potential bf/gf. Friends are friends, they are not bf/gf material. Maybe it is also because you know them so well, eg. how nerdy they are, how bossy they are, that you never gave them a second thought. They are great as friends but nothing beyond.
Recently, one of my old university male friend got married. He has always been a good friend and whenever I need him, he is always willing to help. We may not keep in touch regularly but whenever we meet up, we still have a close friendship. While he is a nice guy, I have never considered him as a bf or husband material. He’s too nerdy, he is so unromantic, he is so square, he is rather boring – those were my impression of him as a boyfriend. Infact, most of my girlfriends also have the same impression thus never giving him a serious consideration.
He got married recently and he married a really lovely girl. They looked wonderful together and seem really suited for each other. After getting married, I somehow see him in a different light. He is such a caring husband, he seems so adventurous, he is very much THE PERFECT boyfriend/husband material. I wondered how come I did not see these qualities in him before.
My single girlfriends all agreed that he has all the eligible qualities now but unfortunately he is no longer eligible. It’s too late! He is taken!
So the question I have in my mind - does one appear more appealing once they are attached? :)
With this, I remember the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding starring Julia Robert. She went berserk when her best guy friend told her that he is in love and getting married. She freaked out and decided that she is in love with him and can’t let him go and went all out to spoil the wedding.
This movie is not my favorite love movie but I realize now sometimes the rock we have may seem just like any rock, but when someone else decides to take it, the rock becomes like a diamond and we wish we had noticed its shine in the first place.
Let me know your thoughts!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Being Silly with Each Other
One of the best things that both I and my husband have is the ability to be silly with each other. This is really special bond between the both of us.
I strongly encourage all couples to have their silly moments. It really brings 2 people together; you can be yourself and laugh at each other’s silliness.
It is difficult to describe on what silliness are because it would be different for every couple.
What I and my husband do are often spontaneous and just spur of the moment. Let me share with you some examples. It sounds so silly even as I was writing it.
1) We play act – eg. sometimes we pretend we are lawyers fighting a case, sometimes we become a Korean couple (eg we talk gibberish Korean language)
2) We have many pet names for each other
3) We act like kids or talk like babies or treat each other like babies
4) We gossip about other people. And I do mean exaggerated gossips with hand gestures and all.
5) We talk excitedly about small things.
6) We tickle each other, tease each other and make fun of each other. And it is all done in a light hearted way.
7) We have pet toys, eg. our pillows and blankets and we pretend that we love our pillows and blanket more. My husband will often pretend that he like to huggy his bolster more than me, I will tend try to get his attention to focus on me instead.
8) We tell each other that we are going to fart before doing so.
I cherished these silly moments, I feel lwe are like 2 kids playing and running around, laughing without a care in the world.
Do you have your silly mooments?
I strongly encourage all couples to have their silly moments. It really brings 2 people together; you can be yourself and laugh at each other’s silliness.
It is difficult to describe on what silliness are because it would be different for every couple.
What I and my husband do are often spontaneous and just spur of the moment. Let me share with you some examples. It sounds so silly even as I was writing it.
1) We play act – eg. sometimes we pretend we are lawyers fighting a case, sometimes we become a Korean couple (eg we talk gibberish Korean language)
2) We have many pet names for each other
3) We act like kids or talk like babies or treat each other like babies
4) We gossip about other people. And I do mean exaggerated gossips with hand gestures and all.
5) We talk excitedly about small things.
6) We tickle each other, tease each other and make fun of each other. And it is all done in a light hearted way.
7) We have pet toys, eg. our pillows and blankets and we pretend that we love our pillows and blanket more. My husband will often pretend that he like to huggy his bolster more than me, I will tend try to get his attention to focus on me instead.
8) We tell each other that we are going to fart before doing so.
I cherished these silly moments, I feel lwe are like 2 kids playing and running around, laughing without a care in the world.
Do you have your silly mooments?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Sex @ Work. How to be safe?
SEX @ Work – How to be Safe?
I read this article the other day and I thought it is appropriate since I have been writing about office affairs.
These are some of the tips on how to be safe when you want to be “dangerous” at work!
1) Choose your partners wisely. If you are wise, don’t go for the married ones, no matter how tempting. Try not to go for your boss or your superiors. And definitely don’t go for your subordinate. Best if both of you don’t work in the same projects or department.
2) Talk about how you want handle the relationship from the beginning. Do you wanna keep it a secret or be open, how to you want to address each other in the office environment, what happens if you both break-up, etc
3) Play it cool. No physical contact, no telling glances, no pet name calling. Office colleagues are like CCTVs. They pick up on cues almost instantly.
4) Don’t tell anyone from the office. If you want to keep your relationship under wraps, do not confide to anyone in your office not even your closest officemate!
5) No not leave any email trails, don’t leave the office at the same time, don’t take annual leaves together and last but not least get your resumes updated, just in case :)
Click here and here for my previous postings
I read this article the other day and I thought it is appropriate since I have been writing about office affairs.
These are some of the tips on how to be safe when you want to be “dangerous” at work!
1) Choose your partners wisely. If you are wise, don’t go for the married ones, no matter how tempting. Try not to go for your boss or your superiors. And definitely don’t go for your subordinate. Best if both of you don’t work in the same projects or department.
2) Talk about how you want handle the relationship from the beginning. Do you wanna keep it a secret or be open, how to you want to address each other in the office environment, what happens if you both break-up, etc
3) Play it cool. No physical contact, no telling glances, no pet name calling. Office colleagues are like CCTVs. They pick up on cues almost instantly.
4) Don’t tell anyone from the office. If you want to keep your relationship under wraps, do not confide to anyone in your office not even your closest officemate!
5) No not leave any email trails, don’t leave the office at the same time, don’t take annual leaves together and last but not least get your resumes updated, just in case :)
Click here and here for my previous postings
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sex @ Work. The Pros and Cons.
There is a saying – THE OFFICE is the new Singles Bar! It is no surprise that office romance / affairs are much talked about. It is probably the most interesting and refreshing gossips among office colleagues! Who does not relish a good gossip especially when it is about someone you know? Better still if it is about your boss!! Unless you are the target of the gossip!
With Careers and Love at stake, I thought it would be nice to access the risks and the rewards of love among the office cubicles.
Rewards
- Sleeping your way to the top!
- Your love liaisons can be on company expense!
- Car pooling to work.
- A quickie anytime.
- You definitely have at least one thing in common!
- You can see each other every day, every hour.
Risks
- You can see each other every day, every hour!
- You risked getting fired. There are some companies who do have allow spouses to work together, one of you would have to leave the company.
- You can’t assert authority with your office lover
- If you break up, you still have to see him/her every day
- If you are married and having an office romance, the chances of keeping it a secret is almost impossible. You may think nobody know but trust me, people know!
- Your love quarrels are the morning gossips for your colleagues.
These are the rewards and risks that I can think of.
Anyone has other new or different perspectives?
As for me, I prefer not to eat and shit at the same place if I can help it!
With Careers and Love at stake, I thought it would be nice to access the risks and the rewards of love among the office cubicles.
Rewards
- Sleeping your way to the top!
- Your love liaisons can be on company expense!
- Car pooling to work.
- A quickie anytime.
- You definitely have at least one thing in common!
- You can see each other every day, every hour.
Risks
- You can see each other every day, every hour!
- You risked getting fired. There are some companies who do have allow spouses to work together, one of you would have to leave the company.
- You can’t assert authority with your office lover
- If you break up, you still have to see him/her every day
- If you are married and having an office romance, the chances of keeping it a secret is almost impossible. You may think nobody know but trust me, people know!
- Your love quarrels are the morning gossips for your colleagues.
These are the rewards and risks that I can think of.
Anyone has other new or different perspectives?
As for me, I prefer not to eat and shit at the same place if I can help it!
Sex in the Office
Being out of town, one of the things I miss most is meeting up with my BFFs. Catching up on their lives, men, gossips, shopping together etc are just pleasures that women enjoy. Now that I am back in town, I cherish the dinners, teas that I have with them, just talking and acting like silly teenagers.
Obviously “MEN” remains the main topic. My friends are mostly still single and finding out about their latest conquests or rather lack of them definitely dominate the air-time.
Also the occasional gossips about other people’s affairs often draws "uhhhs" and "aahhs" from everyone.
At last night’s girly catch-up, I was surprised how much the topic revolved around sex and affairs between co-workers.
“My CEO and HR Director were caught having sex in his office!!”
“My boss is going after this new colleague of mine. He is so old, married with grown up kids and she is only mid 20s.”
“This lady in her mid 40s has been the girlfriend / mistress of my director for the past 15 years. It is so pitiful cos she live in a big house all alone.”
All these kind of stories were buzzing around with everyone having at least one gossip to relate.
I would say office romance is no surprise. When you spend so much of your time in the same environment with the same people there would be bound to be some sparks for better or worse.
Some statistics indicated that at least 47% of workers have an office affair. Can you imagine that, every 2 colleagues that you meet, one could be having an office affair?? If you go to lunch with one colleague, either you or she/he could be having an affair in the office. Ha ha…maybe both of you are having an affair with each other. LOL!
So do you think it is a good idea to have office romance? Whether it is for both single individuals or worse if they are married to other people?
Is it advisable to Eat and Shit at the Same Place?
Obviously “MEN” remains the main topic. My friends are mostly still single and finding out about their latest conquests or rather lack of them definitely dominate the air-time.
Also the occasional gossips about other people’s affairs often draws "uhhhs" and "aahhs" from everyone.
At last night’s girly catch-up, I was surprised how much the topic revolved around sex and affairs between co-workers.
“My CEO and HR Director were caught having sex in his office!!”
“My boss is going after this new colleague of mine. He is so old, married with grown up kids and she is only mid 20s.”
“This lady in her mid 40s has been the girlfriend / mistress of my director for the past 15 years. It is so pitiful cos she live in a big house all alone.”
All these kind of stories were buzzing around with everyone having at least one gossip to relate.
I would say office romance is no surprise. When you spend so much of your time in the same environment with the same people there would be bound to be some sparks for better or worse.
Some statistics indicated that at least 47% of workers have an office affair. Can you imagine that, every 2 colleagues that you meet, one could be having an office affair?? If you go to lunch with one colleague, either you or she/he could be having an affair in the office. Ha ha…maybe both of you are having an affair with each other. LOL!
So do you think it is a good idea to have office romance? Whether it is for both single individuals or worse if they are married to other people?
Is it advisable to Eat and Shit at the Same Place?
Sex before Marriage Part Deux
I agree that many people today do not find any need or compelling reasons to abstain from sex before marriage. You will be considered so old fashioned and backward to even as to suggest it. However, they are many who make that decision of abstinence. Religion plays a big part. In the bible, it is stated very clearly why sex before marriage is not permissible.
I am a Christian and I believe in and abide by God’s word.
However, I don’t want to preach about religion and why it is not right to have sex before marriage. But what I want to do is to give a few perspectives on why I feel we should really consider not having sex before marriage.
These are purely my views and may not be from a biblical standpoint.
1) No Sex = No Risk of contracting STDs! Period!
I am a Christian and I believe in and abide by God’s word.
However, I don’t want to preach about religion and why it is not right to have sex before marriage. But what I want to do is to give a few perspectives on why I feel we should really consider not having sex before marriage.
These are purely my views and may not be from a biblical standpoint.
1) No Sex = No Risk of contracting STDs! Period!
2) No Sex = None unwanted pregnancies. Everytime you have sexual intercourse, you put yourself at risk of bringing a child to the world. Sounds dramatic and far fetching?! But that is the truth! Face it! Often we don’t think about the consequences of sexual intercourse. It is just pleasure for the moment. However, please be aware that there is a chance (no matter how small) that you may bring a child to the world. And that is a huge responsibility. Are you prepared?
3) You may say there is such thing as protection. As I know, there is not one contraceptive which is 100% guaranteed. Condoms are only 99% safe so there is still a possibility of getting pregnant. I am sure each of us would know of someone, a friend, a relative who had an unwanted pregnancies, unwed mothers, abortions etc. Do you want to expose yourself to that risk?
4) Due to the possibility of a child, I believe that sex should be for those who are committed by law to each other. I am not saying that just because they are married they will be responsible parents. But at the very least, they have decided to commit to each other. If a child happens, I would think the percentage of the child being raised properly is higher.
5) No heartbreaks or regrets if you and him/her do not make it. Break-ups are hard enough and I guess a lot of times it is harder for women if sex was involved.
6) Make sex something special by marking it as an act of union or something symbolic as part of getting married. Therefore, it brings alive the word “making love” vs “having sex”. If getting married is so important for couples, why can’t the sex part be made sacred too?
7) If you have sex early on the relationship, you may miss really knowing the person. Sex in the beginning of a relationship is always very exciting, it is passionate and frequent. If that happens in the beginning of the relationship, you may not get to know the person for who they are. Sex may have clouded our evaluation and judgment of this new partner we have. It probably takes away time that can be spent to really get to know each other. When the sex passion dies down, you may discover that you don’t have anything in common or any desire for each other except for sex. And that is not definitely not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
8) When you find Mr Right or your ideal partner, this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The road is long, probably 40-50 years if you are lucky. You want to space out the progression or the stages of relationship. First you date, get to know each other, you hold hands, kiss etc. Then you make commitment, there is the engagement, the wedding etc. Next is the pleasure – the first time becoming one. Then you spend time enjoying sex with each other. Then comes the babies and then both of you bring up the children and then you grow old together. Space out the different stages. Don’t try to cramp everything at the same time like DATE, SEX, BABY MARRIAGE – all in one year!
So, are you convinced? Did I manage to have you see a new perspective? Anyway, these are my views, it may be outdated but I fundamentally believe that it is for the better to refrain from sex before marriage. Make it special!
P/S – If you have had sex with your previous partners before, it’s ok, it’s not too late to consider refraining with your future partner. If you believe that it will be better for your relationship, then do it. Also, I heard that after 5 years of no sex, you are a virgin again! :)
So, are you convinced? Did I manage to have you see a new perspective? Anyway, these are my views, it may be outdated but I fundamentally believe that it is for the better to refrain from sex before marriage. Make it special!
P/S – If you have had sex with your previous partners before, it’s ok, it’s not too late to consider refraining with your future partner. If you believe that it will be better for your relationship, then do it. Also, I heard that after 5 years of no sex, you are a virgin again! :)
Part Un
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Sex before marriage
It’s just sex!
Pleasure now, why wait?
It's no big deal!
I love him, sex is something we do.
These are probably the views of the young people today. We are in a sex-saturated culture, waiting till marriage would seems outdated and prudish.
Sex is no longer viewed as a special bond given only to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Pleasure now is the name of the game and not many are thinking of the consequences.
Are there still merits to wait for marriage before having sex?
What about risk of contracting STDs and AIDS or getting pregnant? Premarital sex also leads to emotional distress, distrust, regret and emptiness.
I personally think that one should save sex for marriage. I may be accused of being old fashioned but I feel it is important to uphold and bring back the values and the importance of sex with the right person. Sex is just not another activity for dating couples. It has a deeper meaning, a deeper bond, a deeper value. If we can instill that value, we will have lesser teen pregnancies, lesser sexually transmitted diseases and probably lesser heart breaks.
I know many would think it is no big deal to have sex. And the more you see it on TV, the more your friends talk about their sexual rendezvous, the more everyone will look at sex as just another activity. It is no big deal! But is that really the case? Do we really feel that having sex is no big deal?
What are your views?
Pleasure now, why wait?
It's no big deal!
I love him, sex is something we do.
These are probably the views of the young people today. We are in a sex-saturated culture, waiting till marriage would seems outdated and prudish.
Sex is no longer viewed as a special bond given only to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Pleasure now is the name of the game and not many are thinking of the consequences.
Are there still merits to wait for marriage before having sex?
What about risk of contracting STDs and AIDS or getting pregnant? Premarital sex also leads to emotional distress, distrust, regret and emptiness.
I personally think that one should save sex for marriage. I may be accused of being old fashioned but I feel it is important to uphold and bring back the values and the importance of sex with the right person. Sex is just not another activity for dating couples. It has a deeper meaning, a deeper bond, a deeper value. If we can instill that value, we will have lesser teen pregnancies, lesser sexually transmitted diseases and probably lesser heart breaks.
I know many would think it is no big deal to have sex. And the more you see it on TV, the more your friends talk about their sexual rendezvous, the more everyone will look at sex as just another activity. It is no big deal! But is that really the case? Do we really feel that having sex is no big deal?
What are your views?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Image or Personality?
Is the image of a person more important or the personality of a person?
When asked what type of girls or guys you like, what would your answer be?
Are you more focused on the outer image or the inner personality?
Would you be considered shallow if your answer is more about the outer image - Tall, slim, long hair etc etc?
Or would you take the time to think thru what kind of personality you like to see in your other half?
So for my dear friend Jenns, she recently met a really "eligible guy". 30-something, successful, somewhat rich, good-looking, smart, confident, a real gentleman, average height and it seemed just a perfect fit for her, she is 30-something (2 yrs older than him), successful, creative, pretty, girly, intelligent, petite.
Seemed like a perfect match in heaven.
I was so hoping that they would hit it off. Therefore discreetly, I asked the guy, what type of girls he like? Two words dashed my hope for Jenns.
"Tall and young!"
Oops...that's it. Jenns is petite and just slightly older.
Does it mean there is no chance for the both of them?
I guess generally we are all often focused on image first. That is the first that we see and then we will discover the personality later. However, sometimes we may overlook personality just because we are so fixed on the image criteria.
Have you ever had friends of the opposite sex that you would never consider as a partner for whatever reason eg. looks nerdy, a bit fat, too tall, too short etc but when he/she gets their "significant half", you see your friend in a different light. You wonder how come you did not see what his/her older half saw in your friend? You suddenly see your friend as a loving and caring bf or gf versus just the nerdy, a bit fat, too tall, too short etc friend that you know.
And you wonder what would have happened if you saw these inner qualities first?
I think that the inner qualities of a person is more important but it takes time and also heart to discover these qualities. Don't be too pre-occupied with the image of the person you want.
Personality would outlast the image.
When asked what type of girls or guys you like, what would your answer be?
Are you more focused on the outer image or the inner personality?
Would you be considered shallow if your answer is more about the outer image - Tall, slim, long hair etc etc?
Or would you take the time to think thru what kind of personality you like to see in your other half?
So for my dear friend Jenns, she recently met a really "eligible guy". 30-something, successful, somewhat rich, good-looking, smart, confident, a real gentleman, average height and it seemed just a perfect fit for her, she is 30-something (2 yrs older than him), successful, creative, pretty, girly, intelligent, petite.
Seemed like a perfect match in heaven.
I was so hoping that they would hit it off. Therefore discreetly, I asked the guy, what type of girls he like? Two words dashed my hope for Jenns.
"Tall and young!"
Oops...that's it. Jenns is petite and just slightly older.
Does it mean there is no chance for the both of them?
I guess generally we are all often focused on image first. That is the first that we see and then we will discover the personality later. However, sometimes we may overlook personality just because we are so fixed on the image criteria.
Have you ever had friends of the opposite sex that you would never consider as a partner for whatever reason eg. looks nerdy, a bit fat, too tall, too short etc but when he/she gets their "significant half", you see your friend in a different light. You wonder how come you did not see what his/her older half saw in your friend? You suddenly see your friend as a loving and caring bf or gf versus just the nerdy, a bit fat, too tall, too short etc friend that you know.
And you wonder what would have happened if you saw these inner qualities first?
I think that the inner qualities of a person is more important but it takes time and also heart to discover these qualities. Don't be too pre-occupied with the image of the person you want.
Personality would outlast the image.
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