10 Benefits of Sex

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex
The health benefits of sex extend well beyond the bedroom. Turns out sex is good for you in ways you may never have imagined.
By Kathleen DohenyWebMD Feature
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Among the benefits of healthy loving in a relationship:

1. Sex Relieves Stress
A big health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction, according to researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal Biological Psychology. They studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. Then the researchers subjected them to stressful situations -- such as speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic -- and noted their blood pressure response to stress.
Those who had intercourse had better responses to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained.
Another study published in the same journal found that frequent intercourse was associated with lower diastolic blood pressure in cohabiting participants. Yet other research found a link between partner hugs and lower blood pressure in women.

2. Sex Boosts Immunity
Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections. Scientists at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., took samples of saliva, which contain IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had.
Those in the "frequent" group -- once or twice a week -- had higher levels of IgA than those in the other three groups -- who reported being abstinent, having sex less than once a week, or having it very often, three or more times weekly.

3. Sex Burns Calories
Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions.
"Sex is a great mode of exercise," says Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists. It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well, she says.



4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health
While some older folks may worry that the efforts expended during sex could cause a stroke, that's not so, according to researchers from England. In a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, scientists found frequency of sex was not associated with stroke in the 914 men they followed for 20 years.
And the heart health benefits of sex don't end there. The researchers also found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.

5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem
Boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex, collected by University of Texas researchers and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
That finding makes sense to Gina Ogden, PhD, a sex therapist and marriage and family therapist in Cambridge, Mass., although she finds that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to feel even better. "One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves," she tells WebMD. "Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it."

6. Sex Improves Intimacy
Having sex and orgasms increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, which helps us bond and build trust. Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina evaluated 59 premenopausal women before and after warm contact with their husbands and partners ending with hugs. They found that the more contact, the higher the oxytocin levels.
"Oxytocin allows us to feel the urge to nurture and to bond," Britton says.
Higher oxytocin has also been linked with a feeling of generosity. So if you're feeling suddenly more generous toward your partner than usual, credit the love hormone.

7. Sex Reduces Pain
As the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase, and pain declines. So if your headache, arthritis pain, or PMS symptoms seem to improve after sex, you can thank those higher oxytocin levels.
In a study published in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, 48 volunteers who inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked lowered their pain threshold by more than half.

8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life, Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International. When they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without, they found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s.
But they found men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third.
Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly.


9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles
For women, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels during sex offers a couple of benefits. You will enjoy more pleasure, and you'll also strengthen the area and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life.
To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor, as if you're trying to stop the flow of urine. Count to three, then release.

10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better
The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research.
And getting enough sleep has been linked with a host of other good things, such as maintaining a healthy weight and blood pressure. Something to think about, especially if you've been wondering why your guy can be active one minute and snoring the next.


Source via WebMD, click this link

KISS your way to healthier teeth!

Hey everyone! Miss me?? Ooops..sorry for the long silence. Too busy, too lazy, too many excuses for not posting any new entries for sometime now. I am back so keep coming back for more insights to this thing called L.O.V.E.!

Here's a great tip for the day, infact every day!!

Dental advisors at the British Dental Association say that KISSING is "nature's own cleaning process". It is a great way to prevent plaque build-up and tooth decay!

Constant lip-locking promotes saliva production, which in turn, washes away sugary solutions in the mouth and acidic saliva from consuming foods such as eggs, meat, wine and yoghurt. As a result, plaque buil-up is reduced, boosting the lifespan of your teeth.

Wow! So you choose....toothbrush or a juicy KISS??? Errr...I think both! :)

Best SEX position ever!!

Caution : For 18 and above only.

Haha..I found this, I don't know how accurate and best of all, it is written by a Man!! Look out for my comments at the end.


By David Harrison


I am about to reveal the best sex position ever. The technique will allow the female to enjoy as many orgasms as she can stand (hundreds in an evening are possible) and they will be the biggest, most earth-shattering orgasms of her life.


Any man capable of correctly performing this sex position on a woman will be revered by her as her best sexual partner.


The man and woman are naked and relaxed. For reasons to be explained shortly, the woman will relieve her bladder beforehand.


The woman is then encouraged to lie comfortably on her stomach upon the bed with her thighs slightly parted.


With his fingers, the man gently massages the vagina.


Soon enough, the natural lubricant allows him to easily slide his thumb into the vagina.


He travels into the vagina with his thumb and angles down, towards the bed, until he meets the resistance of a small knob, roughly the same size as the thumb, otherwise known as the Grafenberg spot or the G-spot.


The G-spot is gently rubbed; any way is appropriate: side to side or in a circular motion, as long as it is gentle. Treatment of the G-spot is similar to that of the clitoris in this initial stage. In other words, it is handled moderately, languidly.


As soon as the man feels the small knob inflate he begins to treat it increasingly more vigorously; the woman will soon let him know if he is being too rough but, almost always, this is never the case. When the G-spot becomes aroused it can be subjected to extremely vigorous treatment; in fact, the rougher, the better.


The woman feels herself rising to a climax, coupled with a sensation of needing to urinate. But she ignores the sensation emanating from her bladder. She will not pee because she has already urinated before trying this sex position.

Within a couple of minutes of her inflamed G-spot being manipulated, the woman experiences a huge, body-rocky G-spot orgasm. It is several times more powerful than the more commonplace clitoral orgasm.

Some women have reported it feeling ten to twenty times more orgasmic. Now, depending on the woman's overall level of health and fitness, the man can resume G-spot manipulation within thirty seconds to two minutes of the orgasm. He then simply repeats the rough, vigorous G-spot massage, until another orgasm rocks through the woman.

This process can be repeated with continued success as many times as the woman can stand. It is easily possible to give the woman several hundred earth-rending orgasms in one evening, interspersed by mere seconds or minutes.

This article is, of course, about the best sex position ever.

So I will now describe the second phase of coupling wherein the man substitutes his penis for, used up until now, his thumb. When the woman has experienced several orgasms, her G-spot will be highly sensitive. She will be able to feel the sensitive knob pleasurably throbbing within her vagina.

The man lies on his back and the woman mounts him, allowing his erect penis to completely penetrate her vagina. The woman is now able to ride the man and angle her body appropriately so the head of his penis is hitting her sensitive G-spot.

Just as when her G-spot was being manipulated by the man's thumb, the woman is able to experience repeated deep orgasms, separated by either seconds or minutes. To add to the already intense sexual pleasure she experiences by this sex position, she can also massage her own clitoris, and enjoy simultaneous G-spot and clitoral orgasmic climaxes.

I think you can appreciate how this is clearly the best sex position ever. In a single evening a woman is able to experience hundreds of orgasms, larger than ever before, and the man is, of course, revered for giving the woman such grandiose heights of sexual ecstasy.

After reading the whole techniques, I have only one question - Where the hell is the G-spot??

Man with desire to have ménage à trois aka "threesome"

Hi everyone, I am extremely excited. Since I have started this blog, I somehow feel that my writings are biased to women. Naturally... cos moi is a lady! :) So, I am happy to annouce that I found a man to contribute to my column from time to time. Let me just call him The Beast. Hope you will feedback on his first column.

Man with desire to have ménage à trois
by The Beast

I am not sure why one of man's ultimate sexual desire is to have a ménage à trois? Or in other words, having sex with 2 women at the same time. It is to show that he is the MAN of the men? Or is it just a big turn on for him?

According to wikipedia, Ménage à trois in French phrase ménage, (household) à, (for) trois, (three) literally translates as "household of three." A ménage à trois to simply put it, a romantic relationship in which three people, such as a married couple and a lover, live together and have sexual relations.

There is a challenge in actually achieving a ménage à trois. First you need have 2 women that agree to have sex with you. Both of them must be comfortable having sexual relationship with each other....Lesbianism?...not necessarily. It can be considered bi-sexual. Then the man need to be able to satisfy these 2 women and also this relationship need to be very agreeable and not have jealousy among 3 members of a ménage à trois. If they could achieve this status, then it will be a flourishing relationship.

Socially it is not an accepatable relationship. It is viewed as a unfaithful relationship because a GOOD relationship is between a man and a woman. If this relationship is somehow violated, it is then considered a socially unacceptable relationship.

Have you done it before?

Is this truly your fantasy?

Post a comment. let me know if you want it to be private.

5 things ruining your sex life in your bedroom

The question to ask is "Who is sleeping with you in your bedroom? Is it your spouse or is there someone else or something else that is taking the passion out of the bed?

The bedroom should be a place for your spouse and you. A bed of passion.

These are top 5 things that is sure a killer to the mood if you allow these sleeping partners to slip into bed with you.

1. The Baby

Taking care of a baby is not easy especially in the first few months. The crying, wailing for milk and also attention they seek from you as parents. It not only takes sex away from the bedroom but also sleep. It may be difficult but remember it is best to comfort them but leave them back in their cot and not take the baby in bed too. Once you start having the baby in your bed, it will be years before they leave :)


2. The Television

In this day and age, a telly in the bedroom is as common as a sofa in the living room. With a hectic lifestyle, there is not much time for the telly so catching the shows before bedtime is common for a lot of couple. But it is a real passion killer. The routine for bedtime would be telly before sleep no longer sex before sleep. So, if you can, try to ship the telly right out of the bedroom or better yet do not ship a telly in if it was never there. It's not easy and I don't think I can ever convince my hubby to move the TV out. Anyway, this may help (I have not used it yet) - "Studies show that a television kept on standby generates magnetic fields and imperceptible levels of noise that disrupt sleep"

3. Money $$$

Money is the root of all evil and money is also the cause of all arguments. Couples often argue about money especially when they lack of the green bucks. Never talk about money before sleep, or you won't get any action that night.

4. Work

Work stress is part and parcel of the working life. It is difficult to erase from work just because you are home. Especially if there is a deadline or your boss just gave you a scolding earlier in the day, it is common to bring the work worries back home. However, remember work is still just work at the end of the day. Your time with your family is most important. Be present when you are home, and ensure you are making every moment count. Also, sex helps to release endorphins that will lift your spirits and you will feel more positive to work again the next day!!

5. The drink..... or that one last drink...

Yup yup....if you had one too many drinks during after office drinks session, most often you will find that you would be struggling to perform. It is a myth to think that a few drinks will get you all ready to romp in the bedroom. Yeah, you probably want to but men may find it hard to perform and even for women who drank too much can have problems reaching orgasm. So, do pace yourself when you are out drinking.

What do you think? Can you kick these disruptive sleeping partners out of your bed?

Sexual Assault

As I was surfing the net, I came across this blog posting on Dreams & Reality.

It is about sexual predators, those "sick in the head" people who prey after women whether young or old. They may not go to the extend of rape but they thrive on sexual harassment or sexual assault, sometimes a slight grey area that is not so easily caught.

Some of their acts - Flasher (flashing of their genitals), they sit near you on the bus/train, they pressed themselves against you in crowded places, fondling - they accidentally touch your legs, breast, buttocks, verbal assault, incest and also sexual harassment at work. Worst is that these people likely will prey on kids, young teenagers who are not aware of what's wrong or what's right.

I do have a personal experience to share. I was very young, probably just 10 years old and I was taking public transportation to school in my hometown. Those times, it is very common to be taking public transportation to school at a young age, unlike now. I still remember I was sitting beside this big burly Indian man. I fell asleep. When I woke up, I saw that he has taken his dick out from his pants and was massaging it. It was a long time ago and I was very young but I was so ignorant that all I thought of was "poor guy - he must be sick (ill), his pee pee is injured and he is examining it." . I just remember that. I got off the bus after and it never made an impression on me after and I did not tell anyone. I just did not know better.

Now that I recall back, obviously that was a sick man, and this time I mean "psycho sick", "asshole" sick, "should be put in jail" kinda of sick. I really wonder why these men exists, what is going through their psychotic brains. Whatever it is, I feel we just need to protect ourselves, protect our children.

Some tips of what to do :-

1) Trust your Instincts

Firstly, we must know what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes sexual harassment feels a bit in the grey area (especially when it is a friend) but we must follow our instincts. If we don't feel comfortable, we must voice out. We must stop it and do not allow it to continue. Eg. A friend was on a plane and the guy beside her (smartly dressed, articulate and seemed like a perfect gentleman), he started a conversation with her. As the conversation progressed, he started to sit closer and closer to her. She started to feel uncomfortable, decided not to talk anymore and she began reading a magazine. This guy did not stop, continue to lean closer and closer to her brushing on her arms. At first, she was too shy to do anything but she really felt uncomfortable and she voiced out, told him to stop, if not she would inform the stewardess. He stopped but yet still had the nerve to ask for her number!

2) Be aware & Educate yourself

We need to be alert always and ensure we do not put ourselves in a vulnerable position. Educate ourselves with the knowledge on where these people usually attack. For eg. when jogging in the park, in crowded places especially in trains and buses, person who sits beside you in public places, beware of your drinks when you go clubbing, staying late night in the office, going to a quiet car park alone etc - these are all potential areas where the sexual predator may strike.

3) Educate our children

I believe that sex education is important to today's children. Television and the Internet are such major influencers in their life from young. As parents, we must teach them what is wrong and what is right and how to protect themselves.

4) Stand up and Voice Out

Do not be a silent victim. Do not feel shy or embarrassed. I think sometimes, we feel too embarrassed to voice out especially when you are in a public place. You pretend that it is ok and hope that it will go away, you tell yourself maybe you are imagining it etc. No, we cannot keep silence. If we feel violated, we must voice out.

Oral Sex is Illegal???!!

This funny incident came up during my little reunion with a bunch of old friends. We have known each other for 10 years after joining a self development course therefore all of us are of different background and age group. It is a wonderfully diversified group yet we are close and able to share many stories whenever we meet up once or twice a year.

Inadvertently, the topic will always stir to sex. Usually with hilarious recommendations on what to eat to enhance “u know what”, what positions, or just tips on husband/wife relationship.

This time, the conversation started with the topic of Singaporeans. Brendy, my very well endowed friend - (trust me when I saw "very well endowed!" ), she was just commenting on how rigid Singaporeans are, how they are all so busy with work, less time to have babies, to have sex…..and then she said “ Yeah, they are so rigid, even oral sex is considered illegal in Singapore, that is simply ridiculous!”

We all turned to her….and then said, “Ah yeah. It is considered unnatural sex but you know that oral sex is also illegal in Malaysia right?”

You should have seen her expression. She was flabbergasted. She obviously does not know that oral sex is illegal in Malaysia and many countries around the world too.

Malaysia Law - Under Section 377A and 377B of the Penal Code, any person who has sexual relations with another involving the introduction of the penis into the anus or mouth, can be jailed up to 20 years and is also liable for whipping.

Please read link here for sodomy law.

Recently in Singapore oral and anal sex between consenting heterosexual adults is no longer an offense but oral and anal sex between consenting men, remains an offense. Singapore have moved one step ahead.

So, did you know that oral sex is indeed illegal in Malaysia?

Guy's Sex Confessions - What they don't want you to do in bed?

I was reading Cosmopolitan and I thought the article on what guys don’t want women to do in bed is pretty interesting. These are few that I picked out and check out if you commit any of it.

1) Noise-making is great but don’t freak him out. Guys really dig into girls who respond in bed. It encourages him and a sign that he is doing the right things. But too much moaning will freak him out. He would think that you are too self absorbed and is not there for him eg. Even though he has not done anything, you are already moaning.

2) Being too self conscious of your body. I guess every woman is self conscious when naked. We are afraid that they will see our imperfections or touch our fleshy areas. But guys hate it when the girls are trying to cover up their bodies. They want a woman who is confident and ready to flaunt her body. If you are self conscious, dim the lights.

3) Too much unwanted hair. Ladies – remember to shave yeah….overgrown and untrimmed hair is not a turn-on. It's a total turn off.

4) Rushing off to the toilet immediately after sex. Ha ha…I thot this is what men do but apparently men don’t like it if their girl rush off to the toilet immediately after sex.

5) Be gentle as necessary. Men are very protective of their packs. While they like to see the girl taking charge, however do make sure you are not pressing or holding too hard. It is painful and all their mood will be gone.

Guys - Any confessions of your own? Do share. What about the gals? Share, Share.

Men who tell all after sex

I have always heard that men do not talk about intimate stuff. They are just macho macho with the guys and talk about football, money, business. They don't like to talk about their girlfriend, wife, whatmore intimate secrets of the bedroom.

So, do men tell all after sex? Do they talk about how good or how bad they are in bed? Do they share bedroom details with their macho guy friends?

Yes they do. But just the jerks!

I heard of one such jerk recently. Firstly, he is married. Secondly, he pursued a younger vulnerable girl who just broke up with her boyfriend. Next, he tells all the details to his guy friends and he paints a picture of how this girl is coming on to him. He reports on how he is very transparent about his marital status but yet the girl still wants to go out with him. He gleefully pours out details of their rendezvous and what they do to his guy friends! No remorse, not seeking advice, just updating about his conquests.

I am disgusted with the guy. Firstly, he is married and no matter what he is in the wrong. Even if he claims that the girl is pursuing him, but hey...it takes 2 hands to clap. But what is really low, is that he tells all his guy friends about what they are doing and the guys have a good laugh about it. How low can one get?

Of course, I am not being bias just because I am a woman. I feel the girl is also stupid to follow-thru with a married man but again, I believe it takes 2 hands to clap. He must also be giving for her to be receiving.

So, here we have a silly girl and a jerk for a guy. I hope that the girl will wake up and realise soon what a jerk he is. As for this jerk, there is a Chinese saying for him - For so much philandering, there will be some much torture.

Sex @ Work. How to be safe?

SEX @ Work – How to be Safe?

I read this article the other day and I thought it is appropriate since I have been writing about office affairs.

These are some of the tips on how to be safe when you want to be “dangerous” at work!

1) Choose your partners wisely. If you are wise, don’t go for the married ones, no matter how tempting. Try not to go for your boss or your superiors. And definitely don’t go for your subordinate. Best if both of you don’t work in the same projects or department.

2) Talk about how you want handle the relationship from the beginning. Do you wanna keep it a secret or be open, how to you want to address each other in the office environment, what happens if you both break-up, etc

3) Play it cool. No physical contact, no telling glances, no pet name calling. Office colleagues are like CCTVs. They pick up on cues almost instantly.

4) Don’t tell anyone from the office. If you want to keep your relationship under wraps, do not confide to anyone in your office not even your closest officemate!

5) No not leave any email trails, don’t leave the office at the same time, don’t take annual leaves together and last but not least get your resumes updated, just in case :)



Click here and here for my previous postings

Sex @ Work. The Pros and Cons.

There is a saying – THE OFFICE is the new Singles Bar! It is no surprise that office romance / affairs are much talked about. It is probably the most interesting and refreshing gossips among office colleagues! Who does not relish a good gossip especially when it is about someone you know? Better still if it is about your boss!! Unless you are the target of the gossip!

With Careers and Love at stake, I thought it would be nice to access the risks and the rewards of love among the office cubicles.

Rewards
- Sleeping your way to the top!
- Your love liaisons can be on company expense!
- Car pooling to work.
- A quickie anytime.
- You definitely have at least one thing in common!
- You can see each other every day, every hour.

Risks
- You can see each other every day, every hour!
- You risked getting fired. There are some companies who do have allow spouses to work together, one of you would have to leave the company.
- You can’t assert authority with your office lover
- If you break up, you still have to see him/her every day
- If you are married and having an office romance, the chances of keeping it a secret is almost impossible. You may think nobody know but trust me, people know!
- Your love quarrels are the morning gossips for your colleagues.

These are the rewards and risks that I can think of.

Anyone has other new or different perspectives?

As for me, I prefer not to eat and shit at the same place if I can help it!

Sex in the Office

Being out of town, one of the things I miss most is meeting up with my BFFs. Catching up on their lives, men, gossips, shopping together etc are just pleasures that women enjoy. Now that I am back in town, I cherish the dinners, teas that I have with them, just talking and acting like silly teenagers.

Obviously “MEN” remains the main topic. My friends are mostly still single and finding out about their latest conquests or rather lack of them definitely dominate the air-time.

Also the occasional gossips about other people’s affairs often draws "uhhhs" and "aahhs" from everyone.

At last night’s girly catch-up, I was surprised how much the topic revolved around sex and affairs between co-workers.

“My CEO and HR Director were caught having sex in his office!!”
“My boss is going after this new colleague of mine. He is so old, married with grown up kids and she is only mid 20s.”
“This lady in her mid 40s has been the girlfriend / mistress of my director for the past 15 years. It is so pitiful cos she live in a big house all alone.”

All these kind of stories were buzzing around with everyone having at least one gossip to relate.

I would say office romance is no surprise. When you spend so much of your time in the same environment with the same people there would be bound to be some sparks for better or worse.
Some statistics indicated that at least 47% of workers have an office affair. Can you imagine that, every 2 colleagues that you meet, one could be having an office affair?? If you go to lunch with one colleague, either you or she/he could be having an affair in the office. Ha ha…maybe both of you are having an affair with each other. LOL!

So do you think it is a good idea to have office romance? Whether it is for both single individuals or worse if they are married to other people?

Is it advisable to Eat and Shit at the Same Place?

Sex before Marriage Part Deux

I agree that many people today do not find any need or compelling reasons to abstain from sex before marriage. You will be considered so old fashioned and backward to even as to suggest it. However, they are many who make that decision of abstinence. Religion plays a big part. In the bible, it is stated very clearly why sex before marriage is not permissible.

I am a Christian and I believe in and abide by God’s word.

However, I don’t want to preach about religion and why it is not right to have sex before marriage. But what I want to do is to give a few perspectives on why I feel we should really consider not having sex before marriage.

These are purely my views and may not be from a biblical standpoint.

1) No Sex = No Risk of contracting STDs! Period!

2) No Sex = None unwanted pregnancies. Everytime you have sexual intercourse, you put yourself at risk of bringing a child to the world. Sounds dramatic and far fetching?! But that is the truth! Face it! Often we don’t think about the consequences of sexual intercourse. It is just pleasure for the moment. However, please be aware that there is a chance (no matter how small) that you may bring a child to the world. And that is a huge responsibility. Are you prepared?

3) You may say there is such thing as protection. As I know, there is not one contraceptive which is 100% guaranteed. Condoms are only 99% safe so there is still a possibility of getting pregnant. I am sure each of us would know of someone, a friend, a relative who had an unwanted pregnancies, unwed mothers, abortions etc. Do you want to expose yourself to that risk?

4) Due to the possibility of a child, I believe that sex should be for those who are committed by law to each other. I am not saying that just because they are married they will be responsible parents. But at the very least, they have decided to commit to each other. If a child happens, I would think the percentage of the child being raised properly is higher.

5) No heartbreaks or regrets if you and him/her do not make it. Break-ups are hard enough and I guess a lot of times it is harder for women if sex was involved.

6) Make sex something special by marking it as an act of union or something symbolic as part of getting married. Therefore, it brings alive the word “making love” vs “having sex”. If getting married is so important for couples, why can’t the sex part be made sacred too?

7) If you have sex early on the relationship, you may miss really knowing the person. Sex in the beginning of a relationship is always very exciting, it is passionate and frequent. If that happens in the beginning of the relationship, you may not get to know the person for who they are. Sex may have clouded our evaluation and judgment of this new partner we have. It probably takes away time that can be spent to really get to know each other. When the sex passion dies down, you may discover that you don’t have anything in common or any desire for each other except for sex. And that is not definitely not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

8) When you find Mr Right or your ideal partner, this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The road is long, probably 40-50 years if you are lucky. You want to space out the progression or the stages of relationship. First you date, get to know each other, you hold hands, kiss etc. Then you make commitment, there is the engagement, the wedding etc. Next is the pleasure – the first time becoming one. Then you spend time enjoying sex with each other. Then comes the babies and then both of you bring up the children and then you grow old together. Space out the different stages. Don’t try to cramp everything at the same time like DATE, SEX, BABY MARRIAGE – all in one year!

So, are you convinced? Did I manage to have you see a new perspective? Anyway, these are my views, it may be outdated but I fundamentally believe that it is for the better to refrain from sex before marriage. Make it special!

P/S – If you have had sex with your previous partners before, it’s ok, it’s not too late to consider refraining with your future partner. If you believe that it will be better for your relationship, then do it. Also, I heard that after 5 years of no sex, you are a virgin again! :)

Part Un

Sex before marriage

It’s just sex!
Pleasure now, why wait?
It's no big deal!
I love him, sex is something we do.

These are probably the views of the young people today. We are in a sex-saturated culture, waiting till marriage would seems outdated and prudish.

Sex is no longer viewed as a special bond given only to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Pleasure now is the name of the game and not many are thinking of the consequences.

Are there still merits to wait for marriage before having sex?

What about risk of contracting STDs and AIDS or getting pregnant? Premarital sex also leads to emotional distress, distrust, regret and emptiness.

I personally think that one should save sex for marriage. I may be accused of being old fashioned but I feel it is important to uphold and bring back the values and the importance of sex with the right person. Sex is just not another activity for dating couples. It has a deeper meaning, a deeper bond, a deeper value. If we can instill that value, we will have lesser teen pregnancies, lesser sexually transmitted diseases and probably lesser heart breaks.

I know many would think it is no big deal to have sex. And the more you see it on TV, the more your friends talk about their sexual rendezvous, the more everyone will look at sex as just another activity. It is no big deal! But is that really the case? Do we really feel that having sex is no big deal?

What are your views?