MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The last fling before you get married
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. It had to be deliberate. One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. It had to be deliberate. One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
Monday, February 23, 2009
KISS your way to healthier teeth!
Hey everyone! Miss me?? Ooops..sorry for the long silence. Too busy, too lazy, too many excuses for not posting any new entries for sometime now. I am back so keep coming back for more insights to this thing called L.O.V.E.!
Here's a great tip for the day, infact every day!!
Dental advisors at the British Dental Association say that KISSING is "nature's own cleaning process". It is a great way to prevent plaque build-up and tooth decay!
Constant lip-locking promotes saliva production, which in turn, washes away sugary solutions in the mouth and acidic saliva from consuming foods such as eggs, meat, wine and yoghurt. As a result, plaque buil-up is reduced, boosting the lifespan of your teeth.
Wow! So you choose....toothbrush or a juicy KISS??? Errr...I think both! :)
Monday, January 5, 2009
Romance Trivia
Happy Happy New Year.
Any romantic new year resolutions out there? I guess it should about the same, for those who are single, the resolution is to find the right one soon.
For those who have been dating for some time, would be likely to get married.
For those who are married errr...it is probably to get out of the marriage..... hahaha...kidding, kidding.
Whatever your resolutions are, I hope that love will always surround each and everyone of us. Have love in our hearts and spread the love around.
Let me share some trivia on romance...pretty corny some of them :
First Love
Two out of five marry their first love.
Forgotten Romance
Most recent research indicates just about 9,000 romantic couples each year take out marriage licenses, then fail to use them.
Go Ahead and Kiss
A team of medical experts in Virginia contends that you're more likely to catch the common cold virus by shaking hands than by kissing.
Honeymoons
The word honeymoon first appeared in the 16th century. 'Honey' is a reference to the sweetness of a new marriage and 'moon' is a bitter acknowledgment that this sweetness, like a full moon, would quickly fade.
Mating Birds
It was believed that birds chose their mates on February 14th and because doves mate for life, they have become a symbol of fidelity.
Morning Kissing
Studies indicate that a man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than those who don't. Husbands who exercise the rituals of affection tend to be more painstaking, more stable, more methodical, thus, higher earners. Studies also show that men who kiss their wives before leaving in the morning live 5 years longer than those who don't.
Oldest Bride
Minnie Munro became the world's oldest bride when she married Dudley Reid at the age of 102 on May 31, 1991. Reid, the groom, was 83 years old.
Oldest Groom
Harry Stevens was 103 when he married 84 year old Thelma Lucas at the Caravilla Retirement Home in Wisconsin on December 3, 1984.
On Bended Knee
One in 5 men proposes on one knee.
Phone Proposals
6% of men proposed to their girlfriends over the phone.
Red Roses
Red roses are the most popular flower to give on Valentine's Day and although they may all look the same to the untrained eye, there are actually more than 900 different varieties of dark-red and medium-red roses.
Romance Novels
Romance Novels are more popular than ever. 53% of all mass market paperback books sold in this country are Romances. Romance novels earn more money in the USA yearly than baseball! So, what's the national pastime?
Sex Manuals
The oldest sex manuals were published in China 5,000 years ago.
The Longest Engagement
Sixty-seven years, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. The happy couple finally wed at age 82!
Tying the Knot
The expression, "tying the knot" dates to Roman times, when the bride wore a girdle that was tied in knots - which the groom then had the fun of untying.
Your Hand in Marriage
Only 4% of men ask for the parent's approval for their bride's hand in marriage.
Source via
Any romantic new year resolutions out there? I guess it should about the same, for those who are single, the resolution is to find the right one soon.
For those who have been dating for some time, would be likely to get married.
For those who are married errr...it is probably to get out of the marriage..... hahaha...kidding, kidding.
Whatever your resolutions are, I hope that love will always surround each and everyone of us. Have love in our hearts and spread the love around.
Let me share some trivia on romance...pretty corny some of them :
First Love
Two out of five marry their first love.
Forgotten Romance
Most recent research indicates just about 9,000 romantic couples each year take out marriage licenses, then fail to use them.
Go Ahead and Kiss
A team of medical experts in Virginia contends that you're more likely to catch the common cold virus by shaking hands than by kissing.
Honeymoons
The word honeymoon first appeared in the 16th century. 'Honey' is a reference to the sweetness of a new marriage and 'moon' is a bitter acknowledgment that this sweetness, like a full moon, would quickly fade.
Mating Birds
It was believed that birds chose their mates on February 14th and because doves mate for life, they have become a symbol of fidelity.
Morning Kissing
Studies indicate that a man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than those who don't. Husbands who exercise the rituals of affection tend to be more painstaking, more stable, more methodical, thus, higher earners. Studies also show that men who kiss their wives before leaving in the morning live 5 years longer than those who don't.
Oldest Bride
Minnie Munro became the world's oldest bride when she married Dudley Reid at the age of 102 on May 31, 1991. Reid, the groom, was 83 years old.
Oldest Groom
Harry Stevens was 103 when he married 84 year old Thelma Lucas at the Caravilla Retirement Home in Wisconsin on December 3, 1984.
On Bended Knee
One in 5 men proposes on one knee.
Phone Proposals
6% of men proposed to their girlfriends over the phone.
Red Roses
Red roses are the most popular flower to give on Valentine's Day and although they may all look the same to the untrained eye, there are actually more than 900 different varieties of dark-red and medium-red roses.
Romance Novels
Romance Novels are more popular than ever. 53% of all mass market paperback books sold in this country are Romances. Romance novels earn more money in the USA yearly than baseball! So, what's the national pastime?
Sex Manuals
The oldest sex manuals were published in China 5,000 years ago.
The Longest Engagement
Sixty-seven years, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. The happy couple finally wed at age 82!
Tying the Knot
The expression, "tying the knot" dates to Roman times, when the bride wore a girdle that was tied in knots - which the groom then had the fun of untying.
Your Hand in Marriage
Only 4% of men ask for the parent's approval for their bride's hand in marriage.
Source via
Thursday, December 11, 2008
She says THIS but she means THAT!
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"
Source
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"
Source
Monday, October 6, 2008
DO I LOOK FAT?
I can only say for women and I think the above is absolutely true. Whenever we look into the mirror, we just see how fat we are. And that is why we always ask the stupid question of "DO I LOOK FAT?"God forbid if anyone especially the boyfriend or husband to even hesitate to answer no. The answer is always No, You look great! No hesitation, no pondering. Better if you can fake a puzzled look of how ridiculous the question is like "duhhh! You look great! What are you talking about?"
I must give my hubby full credit for excellence in this area. Whenever I ask him that dreaded question - he never hesitates, never doubts - his answer is always NO! I will ask again and again, I will pressure him to look and agree with me. But he never fails. It is always a "No, you look good!
Sigh....I know it is not true always but trust me it does make me feel good.
I wonder if men prefer the truth or otherwise if they ask that dreaded question about their body!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Waking up in the morning - difference between men and women
A friend sent me the cartoon below today. I thot it was really funny. Yeah men and women are different and to some extent, it is absolutely true. But I do know that it does not apply to all. Men nowadays are also very conscious of their looks and they do take a long time getting ready too. Am I right?
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Baby videos...
Since I am thinking of babies, I decided to view some cute and funny baby videos on you tube. Here I am pasting a couple of funny ones.
Babies always put a smile on your face. It is even more adorable when babies are laughing. They sound so ground-up and you can't help but laugh along with them.
Brother and baby love. This is really cute.
Since it is the Beijing Olympic Games, to play tribute to the mascot...the Giant Panda of China, this video shows mother and baby panda. See till the end :)
Have a good weekend!
Babies always put a smile on your face. It is even more adorable when babies are laughing. They sound so ground-up and you can't help but laugh along with them.
Brother and baby love. This is really cute.
Since it is the Beijing Olympic Games, to play tribute to the mascot...the Giant Panda of China, this video shows mother and baby panda. See till the end :)
Have a good weekend!
Friday, August 15, 2008
When Harry Met Sally....
I found these videos on youtube. If you liked the movie, it will refresh your memories of friends turning into lovers, proving that man and woman cannot be friends :)
The below video is the famous "orgasm" scene by Meg Ryan. Be warned. Click on your own risk. You may want to turn down the volume if you are not alone, but if you like by all means...volume it up.
The below video is the famous "orgasm" scene by Meg Ryan. Be warned. Click on your own risk. You may want to turn down the volume if you are not alone, but if you like by all means...volume it up.
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