Monday, September 8, 2008

Sex before Marriage Part Deux

I agree that many people today do not find any need or compelling reasons to abstain from sex before marriage. You will be considered so old fashioned and backward to even as to suggest it. However, they are many who make that decision of abstinence. Religion plays a big part. In the bible, it is stated very clearly why sex before marriage is not permissible.

I am a Christian and I believe in and abide by God’s word.

However, I don’t want to preach about religion and why it is not right to have sex before marriage. But what I want to do is to give a few perspectives on why I feel we should really consider not having sex before marriage.

These are purely my views and may not be from a biblical standpoint.

1) No Sex = No Risk of contracting STDs! Period!

2) No Sex = None unwanted pregnancies. Everytime you have sexual intercourse, you put yourself at risk of bringing a child to the world. Sounds dramatic and far fetching?! But that is the truth! Face it! Often we don’t think about the consequences of sexual intercourse. It is just pleasure for the moment. However, please be aware that there is a chance (no matter how small) that you may bring a child to the world. And that is a huge responsibility. Are you prepared?

3) You may say there is such thing as protection. As I know, there is not one contraceptive which is 100% guaranteed. Condoms are only 99% safe so there is still a possibility of getting pregnant. I am sure each of us would know of someone, a friend, a relative who had an unwanted pregnancies, unwed mothers, abortions etc. Do you want to expose yourself to that risk?

4) Due to the possibility of a child, I believe that sex should be for those who are committed by law to each other. I am not saying that just because they are married they will be responsible parents. But at the very least, they have decided to commit to each other. If a child happens, I would think the percentage of the child being raised properly is higher.

5) No heartbreaks or regrets if you and him/her do not make it. Break-ups are hard enough and I guess a lot of times it is harder for women if sex was involved.

6) Make sex something special by marking it as an act of union or something symbolic as part of getting married. Therefore, it brings alive the word “making love” vs “having sex”. If getting married is so important for couples, why can’t the sex part be made sacred too?

7) If you have sex early on the relationship, you may miss really knowing the person. Sex in the beginning of a relationship is always very exciting, it is passionate and frequent. If that happens in the beginning of the relationship, you may not get to know the person for who they are. Sex may have clouded our evaluation and judgment of this new partner we have. It probably takes away time that can be spent to really get to know each other. When the sex passion dies down, you may discover that you don’t have anything in common or any desire for each other except for sex. And that is not definitely not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

8) When you find Mr Right or your ideal partner, this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The road is long, probably 40-50 years if you are lucky. You want to space out the progression or the stages of relationship. First you date, get to know each other, you hold hands, kiss etc. Then you make commitment, there is the engagement, the wedding etc. Next is the pleasure – the first time becoming one. Then you spend time enjoying sex with each other. Then comes the babies and then both of you bring up the children and then you grow old together. Space out the different stages. Don’t try to cramp everything at the same time like DATE, SEX, BABY MARRIAGE – all in one year!

So, are you convinced? Did I manage to have you see a new perspective? Anyway, these are my views, it may be outdated but I fundamentally believe that it is for the better to refrain from sex before marriage. Make it special!

P/S – If you have had sex with your previous partners before, it’s ok, it’s not too late to consider refraining with your future partner. If you believe that it will be better for your relationship, then do it. Also, I heard that after 5 years of no sex, you are a virgin again! :)


Part Un

2 comments:

Kamigoroshi said...

Well, I stand by what I said before. It's not a "test drive" as you commented in reply in your last post. It's the discovery of an important part of your partner.

Sex is not, but equally important in a relationship. Physical intimacy is not just one of the expression of love, but a comfort beyond words or measure. Anyone who's been that deep in love would know what I'm talking about. It is a moment can also be spoiled by our inability to express our feelings physically as well.

I'm not asking people to be stupid and go all sex willy-nilly. It's big responsibility to have sex, just as it's a big responsibility to have and to hold someone in your head and heart. It's just something you know you're committing to.

Anonymous said...

Kamigoroshi - I agree that sex is important in relationship and it may break or strengthen a relationship. That is why it should be carefully thot of before committing.