Guy's Sex Confessions - What they don't want you to do in bed?

I was reading Cosmopolitan and I thought the article on what guys don’t want women to do in bed is pretty interesting. These are few that I picked out and check out if you commit any of it.

1) Noise-making is great but don’t freak him out. Guys really dig into girls who respond in bed. It encourages him and a sign that he is doing the right things. But too much moaning will freak him out. He would think that you are too self absorbed and is not there for him eg. Even though he has not done anything, you are already moaning.

2) Being too self conscious of your body. I guess every woman is self conscious when naked. We are afraid that they will see our imperfections or touch our fleshy areas. But guys hate it when the girls are trying to cover up their bodies. They want a woman who is confident and ready to flaunt her body. If you are self conscious, dim the lights.

3) Too much unwanted hair. Ladies – remember to shave yeah….overgrown and untrimmed hair is not a turn-on. It's a total turn off.

4) Rushing off to the toilet immediately after sex. Ha ha…I thot this is what men do but apparently men don’t like it if their girl rush off to the toilet immediately after sex.

5) Be gentle as necessary. Men are very protective of their packs. While they like to see the girl taking charge, however do make sure you are not pressing or holding too hard. It is painful and all their mood will be gone.

Guys - Any confessions of your own? Do share. What about the gals? Share, Share.

What late PARTYING does to your looks?

We all probably had our share of partying days. For many, it is still a Friday night ritual and sometimes a few days a week. I believe partying is a phase that everyone should go through. As for me…been there, done that, I feel a little old for partying nowadays but I would still obliged once in a while. With the right company, it can be great fun.

However, I would like to warn all you party animals out there, what partying can do to your looks? I know when we are having fun, all other things does not matter. Hangovers, eye bags, headaches, don’t remember what you did last nite etc etc are common effects of a great partying night.

But what does it really do to your looks? It is a gradual effect but trust me….it ain’t pretty.

1) Your skin dries up.
I am sure you all know that you often feel very thirsty after a heavy drinking session. Alcohol has a dehydrating effect on your entire system. This will affect your entire body and the consequence is premature wrinkles. If you look at yourself in the mirror the next morning, you do look like you have aged 5 years right? 

2) Your face becomes blotchy
Blotchiness of you face can be a permanent feature after much drinking. As your body absorbs booze, blood vessels becomes dilated causing redness and flushing where skin is thinnest such as your skin and eyes. Not a pretty sight

3) You will have DULL hair, nails and teeth
Drinking interferes with the absorption of vitamins and nutrients into your bodies. And no matter how much vitamin A, D, calcium and zinc , your hair nails and teeth will be dull as the minerals can penetrate into our bodies

4) You pack on the pounds
Who says booze is water and thus less calories. One can of beer is at least 150 calories, and a margarita is about 400 or more. Furthermore, booze will boost your appetite…so not surprising the mamak (night food) business is 24 hours, catering for the hungry partygoers.

Did I paint a bleak picture? Don't worry, enjoy life when we are young. Just don't overdo it. Your body needs a rest too.

What is Love?

What is love?

This question suddenly came to my mind. I decided to search the net for some definitions. Many wrote that, it is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love.

Oxford definition :-

1. an intense feeling of deep affection.

2. a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.

3. a great interest and pleasure in something.

4. a person or thing that one loves.

5. (in tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero. apparently from the phrase play for love (i.e. the love of the game, not for money).

I felt the oxford definitions are so dry and unromantic. These are others that I found.

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

The true meaning of love is found in the word "unconditional". Loving someone through their flaws and all. Accepting and embracing each others differences and compromising with their offerings.

Love is a unexplainable happiness.

I think it is very difficult to explain love. Love is a feeling, an emotion and that may be different for everyone.

To put it simply, you will know the meaning of love when you fall in love.

And when you do, don't ever forget it.

I will leave you with a beautiful L.O.V.E rendition by Nat King Cole.

What does my Mother in law hate me? Part 2

My previous posting (click link here) uncovered some reasons on why mother in law behaves in a certain way. However even with understanding and emphathy, it can never take away the frustrations and heart aches when dealing with an unreasonable mother in law.

These are my 5 tips on how to handle the situation, it will probably not solve the problem but hopefully it will help.

1) Patience is a virtue – This is utmost importance and if you have patience, half your problems will be solved. See no evil, hear no evil, say no evil.

2) Distance is sometimes better - If you have the opportunity at the begining to not stay with in-laws, please do so. It is the best way to start a marriage.

3) Make sure your hubby in on your side - This is a tricky one because one is his mom and the other is his wife. However for your sanity, he must be on your side. But you must play your cards well too. Never make him choose between his mother or you. Remember don’t bad mouth your mother in-law. Inform your husband of every single situation and make him understand and ensure he will stand by you. Don't nag or act hysterical.

4) Be a level above - Don’t fight back ( it will only give her reasons to torture you further) but also don’t be run over. Be confident and stated what is right in a "nice" way. You must always be one level above your mother in law. Don’t stoop to her level and play the same game. Play a higher level game like you are not affected. Don’t shout back, don’t break down in front of her.

5) Be the agent of change for the future – Knowing what you know, please do not do it to your son’s wife in future. Break the curse.

Why does my mother-in law hate me?

Any of you ladies out there is encountering this issue? Is this one of your laments? Do you have a hate hate relationship with your mother in-law? Does she make your life misearable? Is your mother in law butting in your life?

So why are mother in laws out to make their daughter in law’s life miserable? From my observations of my own family and from friends, these are reasons I can think of. It is important to understand what is causing them to behave a particular way.

1. You will always be the outsider.
This is a fact and the sooner you accept it the better. You have just come into a family that have 20-30 years history together. You are an outsider, you will not always get the same treatment as the other members, it may not be fair but it is reality. For eg, I noticed that some mother in law will always ask her own children to come eat dinner after she has cooked but she never ask the daughter in law. Face the fact, from a ranking standpoint, to her eyes you are last in the list. And since she prepared dinner (which she probably is not happy that you did not help) she likely will not even ask you to come eat.

2. It is the only way mother in laws know how to treat daughter in laws.

It is the way she was treated and that is the only way she knows how to treat you. This all trace back to history of how a son is regarded as the carrier of the family name and thus a son heir is so important especially so in a Chinese family. The girl adopts the husband’s name. She is like sold out, no value to the family. This has given a more superior position to the sons and thus they are treated like the kings. The girl is considered second class and she was likely treated even worse by her mother in law. This unfortunate treatment just continuing in the next generation. My grandma is one such example…she was badly treated by her mother in law (you know during the 1930s when daughters are married in the family and almost instantly expected to take care of the household ie clean, cook, wash etc) Though my grandma will never admit it, but throughout the years, I realized she don’t have anything nice things to say about all her daughter in laws.

3. She feels threatened by your presence

She used to be head of the household, the only woman taking care of the needs of the family, her son. You are seen as competition. If you don’t help out with household chores – you are a bad wife. If you help with household chores – you are butting in. You can never do right cos your mother in law is threatened by your presence.

4. No one is good enough for her son

Being protective of her son, she will try to find faults with you just to prove that you are not good enough. If you are so good, it will make her less than perfect. Therefore, she will never admit that you are too good for her son. You may asked why she does not treat her daughter’s husband the same way with the mentality that nobody is good enough for her daughter. Seriously, to some extent she also feels that but she can’t treat her son-in law bad cos her daughter has married away and she can only hope that her son in law will treat her well. So her natural instinct is to be nice to her son in law.

5. Don’t bite the “breast” that fed you.

She fears that you will take her son away from her. She was her son’s caregiver, she is who he runs to when he is sick, she prepares his food etc etc, she was put on a pedestal by her son. She feels that you are replacing her place. And her son has betrayed her, love her less. To put it crudely, he is now running to your breast! :) It is a difficult adjustment for her and managing the fear that her son will not love her anymore. One of my friends’ mother in law's nightmare story is about money. She seem to want all her sons money and she always have hurtful words about how useless her daughter in law is cos she makes so little money and need to rely on her son for everything.

Do you have any nightmare mother in law stories? Do share…

This reminds me of the movie Monster in Law starring Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez. Watch below for a little laugh.

If you have a monster in law, what should you do? Wait…for my next posting.

Men who tell all after sex

I have always heard that men do not talk about intimate stuff. They are just macho macho with the guys and talk about football, money, business. They don't like to talk about their girlfriend, wife, whatmore intimate secrets of the bedroom.

So, do men tell all after sex? Do they talk about how good or how bad they are in bed? Do they share bedroom details with their macho guy friends?

Yes they do. But just the jerks!

I heard of one such jerk recently. Firstly, he is married. Secondly, he pursued a younger vulnerable girl who just broke up with her boyfriend. Next, he tells all the details to his guy friends and he paints a picture of how this girl is coming on to him. He reports on how he is very transparent about his marital status but yet the girl still wants to go out with him. He gleefully pours out details of their rendezvous and what they do to his guy friends! No remorse, not seeking advice, just updating about his conquests.

I am disgusted with the guy. Firstly, he is married and no matter what he is in the wrong. Even if he claims that the girl is pursuing him, but hey...it takes 2 hands to clap. But what is really low, is that he tells all his guy friends about what they are doing and the guys have a good laugh about it. How low can one get?

Of course, I am not being bias just because I am a woman. I feel the girl is also stupid to follow-thru with a married man but again, I believe it takes 2 hands to clap. He must also be giving for her to be receiving.

So, here we have a silly girl and a jerk for a guy. I hope that the girl will wake up and realise soon what a jerk he is. As for this jerk, there is a Chinese saying for him - For so much philandering, there will be some much torture.

Can you tell your childhood friends that you are gay?

I am no expert in this topic but somehow I am intrigued to write about this as it just happened to a friend of mine.

I personally have many gay friends…some of them are even really good friends of mine. Most if not all, are friends that I got to know when I started working. Most of them are in the advertising line working as creative personnel, PR, graphic design etc. And I realized that I don’t know any gay friends from my school days.

Many are still discovering their sexuality in their teens, in school. I guess most decide “to come out of the closet” in their 20s after they started working. Therefore, there would be few from teenage school days that we get to know as openly gay.

I would think it is really hard for a gay person to meet back their old school friends and revealing their sexual orientation. They probably have not met for years and there would be just so must history that facing them would not be something that one desires.

So, I would think that other than family, the next bunch of people that are hard to face or hard to tell about your sexual orientation are your childhood friends.

This is story I heard recently. It happened to a friend’s friend. They are all great buddies from school. They hang out together, some even rented rooms together, they take holidays together, basically they are a “gang”. Over the course of 10-15 years, I would say they have been through much together, or least supported each other in different times of need. Some got married, most remained single and they were just were a “gang” throughout the years. They meet regularly and life is just cool to always have a “gang” to hang out with.

One of them is gay. After years of friendship, he never once mentioned it. It is hard. Hard to face up to family and friends that he has known all your life. He is worried about what they would think? How they would react? How would they treat him? Can they still be good friends?

But how long can he keep it from his closest friends? Especially when he has found someone special in his life. He want to be open to his friends, he wants his friends to accept him, his sexuality and importantly he wants his friends to accept his new found partner.

In this day and age, having a gay friend is no longer a taboo. It may not be easy to open up but sometimes you gotta just bite the bullet and say it. Be prepared for gossips behind your back. It would be too unrealistic to expect that your friends are not going to talk about you. They will and they will talk and talk and talk and talk. But they will get tired eventually and as time pass, I am sure things will be back to normal again.

Friendship Remains And Never Can End. FRANCE........remember that we use to write this in autographs?!! :)

How do you tell your friends if you are gay?

They have been friends since school days.
All 8 of them have been thru thick and thin. They hang out, go on holidays, and always there for each other. One of them is gay. After 10 years, he has never confessed. Now he has found someone special. He wants his best friends to know but he does not know how they will accept his lifestyle. To make things worse, his friends does not like his "friend" and his "friend" is not really accepted in the group. He doesn't want to lose his friends but he is in dilemma on how they will accept his "friend".

DO I LOOK FAT?

I can only say for women and I think the above is absolutely true. Whenever we look into the mirror, we just see how fat we are. And that is why we always ask the stupid question of "DO I LOOK FAT?"

God forbid if anyone especially the boyfriend or husband to even hesitate to answer no. The answer is always No, You look great! No hesitation, no pondering. Better if you can fake a puzzled look of how ridiculous the question is like "duhhh! You look great! What are you talking about?"

I must give my hubby full credit for excellence in this area. Whenever I ask him that dreaded question - he never hesitates, never doubts - his answer is always NO! I will ask again and again, I will pressure him to look and agree with me. But he never fails. It is always a "No, you look good!

Sigh....I know it is not true always but trust me it does make me feel good.

I wonder if men prefer the truth or otherwise if they ask that dreaded question about their body!

Waking up in the morning - difference between men and women

A friend sent me the cartoon below today. I thot it was really funny. Yeah men and women are different and to some extent, it is absolutely true. But I do know that it does not apply to all. Men nowadays are also very conscious of their looks and they do take a long time getting ready too. Am I right?

My Top 6 Long Standing Celebrity Couples

Celebrities are often not the best role models when it comes to marriage. We often hear more of break-ups than happily ever after. However Hollywood would not be Hollywood without the juicy stories of infidelities, break-ups, divorces.


However, there are also many couples that have lasted the test of time. These are some couples that I think are best roles models on marriages. I do hope that they will be happily ever after stories. Give us some hope that happily ever after do exists....


1) Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith (1997- present)

The couple met on the set of the movie Two Much, and were married a year later in May of 1996. They have one child together, a daughter named Stella del Carmen Banderas Griffith, who was born in 1996. Stella appears in the 1999 movie Crazy in Alabama. Melanie has three children altogether, basically one with each person she was married too. Her most noteable previous relationship was with Miami Vice star Don Johnson.

2) Michelle Pfeiffer and David E Kelly (1993- present)

In 1993, Pfeiffer was set up on a blind date with television writer and producer David E Kelley but it became a group event and they barely spoke to each other. The following week, Kelley took her to the cinema , and they began dating seriously. They married on November 13, 1993. Pfeiffer and Kelley have two children, one adopted daughter and one biological son.


3) John Travolta and Kelly Preston (1991 - present)

They met during the filming of The Experts. John and Kelly have been married twice. Their first marriage, performed by a Scientologist minister, was declared illegal. This made the couple have to followup with another ceremony that took place on September 12, 1992.
John and Kelly have a son, Jett Travolta (1992), and a daughter, Ella Blue Travolta (2000) together. Both of the couple are members of the Church of Scientology



4) Will Smith and Jada Pinket Smith (1997 - present)

They met when Jada tried out for the role of Will's girlfriend on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" television series. (she lost the role to Nia Long). The couple was married on December 31 of 1997. They have two children together. Jaden Christopher Syre was born in 1998, and co-starred with his father in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness. The other child is Willow Camille Reign, born in 2000. Will has a son named Trey from his previous relationship



5) Hugh Jackman and Deborra Lee Furness (1996 - present)

Aussie actor Hugh Jackman has been married to Deborra Lee Furness since 1996. He believes in keeping his marriage fun and making compromises. Even though she is 13 years older than him, the secret to their long lasting marriage is making that person the most important thing in your life. They have two kids together, Oscar, 5, and Ava, 8 months.



6) Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson (1988 - present)

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson met on the set of the television comedy "Bosom Buddies", but didn't get serious with her until the movie "Volunteers" in 1985, which also co-starred the late John Candy. They were married on April 30, 1988. The couple has two children. Tom had two children with his previous wife as well.

Simple love stories - The Obama Story...

Sometimes the simplest story are the best love stories, no frills, no drama, just a simple hello, and the rest as they say is history.

I recently read Barack and Michelle Obama's love story. If you have been following the US presidential election, you will know that this man is potentially going to be one of the most powerful man in the future. Infact the future of America and how it affects the world, may lie in his hands.

I believe a man in his position with all the pressure of a political life and running a country, he definitely need a strong support system at home. For eg. Bill Clinton is very lucky to have Hilary Clinton stand beside him even when he made the biggest mistake of his life.

For Barack Obama, he has Michelle Obama. She has proven herself to be worthy of a wife that is so supportive of her husband, so strong in her values and know what are the right priorities of her life.

She has famously said that her 2 beautiful girls are the "center of the universe" for her and Barack.

How Barack and Michelle Met:

The Obama romance began in the spring of 1988. Michelle was a first-year attorney at a Chicago law firm. Word rippled through the law office that a hot-shot Harvard law student would be working at the firm that summer. She saw a photograph of the new hire and was less than dazzled.

She told Chicago Sun Times in 2004 "I thought, OK, he's probably not all that terrific, and he's probably kind of a clown, and then I found out that his name was Barack Obama, And like everybody else, Ithought, 'Well, what kind of name is that?'"

Michelle learned she'd been assigned to mentor the new guy. He reportedly didn't have much interest in corporate law, but did have a lot of interest in Michelle. Barack was less geeky than he appeared in his photo, and he wasn't the cocky Harvard student she'd been expecting.

Michelle found herself laughing at the same things as Barack. "I was charmed, and we became instant friends after [the] first conversation," Michelle Obama said.

"We should go out. He had no special lines. Barack's not some line-giver." Michelle said this of Barack recently to Ryan Seacreast on his KIIS FM radio show. At first, she said no to Barack repeatedly. She wasn't keen on office dating. Michelle even tried to fix him up with other young women. But the future U.S. senator wouldn't give in.

"Eventually I wore her down," he wrote in his 2006 book, The Audacity of Hope.

Their first date included a day at the Art Institute of Chicago, a drink at the top of the John Hancock Center, and a movie -- Spike Lee's "Do the Right Thing."

"He swept me off my feet," said Michelle Obama, recalling how her date made her laugh and intrigued her with his "deep understanding" of art.

Sitting on a curb, they shared their first kiss over Baskin-Robbins ice cream.

"I asked her if I could kiss her," Obama wrote. "It tasted of chocolate."

She said "she fell in love with him for the same reason many other people respect him; his connection with people."

Wedding Date: On October 18, 1992, Michelle and Barack's wedding ceremony was performed by Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, Illinois.

Children:Barack and Michelle have two daughters, Malia Ann Obama: Born in 1999 and Natasha Obama: Born in 2001.

And now he could be the President of America and she could be first lady. Whatever happens, I hope they will always the special simple love story of how they met and how they fell in love.

Source from here and here