My previous posting (click link here) uncovered some reasons on why mother in law behaves in a certain way. However even with understanding and emphathy, it can never take away the frustrations and heart aches when dealing with an unreasonable mother in law.
These are my 5 tips on how to handle the situation, it will probably not solve the problem but hopefully it will help.
1) Patience is a virtue – This is utmost importance and if you have patience, half your problems will be solved. See no evil, hear no evil, say no evil.
2) Distance is sometimes better - If you have the opportunity at the begining to not stay with in-laws, please do so. It is the best way to start a marriage.
3) Make sure your hubby in on your side - This is a tricky one because one is his mom and the other is his wife. However for your sanity, he must be on your side. But you must play your cards well too. Never make him choose between his mother or you. Remember don’t bad mouth your mother in-law. Inform your husband of every single situation and make him understand and ensure he will stand by you. Don't nag or act hysterical.
4) Be a level above - Don’t fight back ( it will only give her reasons to torture you further) but also don’t be run over. Be confident and stated what is right in a "nice" way. You must always be one level above your mother in law. Don’t stoop to her level and play the same game. Play a higher level game like you are not affected. Don’t shout back, don’t break down in front of her.
5) Be the agent of change for the future – Knowing what you know, please do not do it to your son’s wife in future. Break the curse.
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