There is always more than meet the eyes.
I believe 99% of the time, something will get in the way. I give the benefit of the doubt to the 1% of possibility that men and women can be just great friends.
Of course, I don't mean that men and women can't be friends. We all have lots of friends of the opposite sex. My question is aiming at the really goody goody, really close, really best of the buddies, call each other everyday kinda friendship between heterosexual couples.
Why I don''t believe that men and women can really be just friends?
1) Like Harry said in the movie (When Harry Met Sally) SEX will get in the way! I think this is true. If both are normal heterosexual couple and have just great chemistry to be friends...it will develop at some level to sexual chemistry right? Whether you admit of not, the thought would have entered your head more than once :)
2) If both are single and not attached and have such a great friendship, what is stopping from the feelings to develop to something more. Absolutely nothing. Don't say that she is not my type, obviously you are kidding yourself. If you are so comfortable with a friend who is of this character, you can't say he/she is not my type right?
3) Even if both are attached, when 2 friends are close, "trouble" may arise even when you least expect it. I believe that people start out as friends but if not careful and don't guard yourself and yours feelings well, sometimes we lose control even if it was not intentional. We are humans with feelings and emotions and sometimes "sh*t" happens. That's life.
I believe there is nothing wrong with men and women being best friends. I fundamentally believe that if not taken with care, feelings and emotions and even sexual tensions may arise. Therefore, if you are attached or married, it is even more important to guard yourself especially when you don't intend anything to happen. You don't intend doesn't mean it won't. Individually, we need to be very aware if our actions are over the friendship boundaries, did we get too close, could we have sent a wrong signal, could we have uncounsciously flirted with our friend etc etc.
Because, once you cross the boundaries, it could just be once but you stand the chance to lose your friend, your wife, husband, gf, bf , the ones that you love.
Now, if you are both single.....it something happens...I would say great...you found someone not only as a partner, lover but importantly a good friend!
Previous posting on this topic, click here!
6 comments:
My wife says that it is possible but we ended up married.
Adam - Good one :)
It is possible and I'm speaking from personal experience.
This is akin to asking the question if the one you married is the one you love most.
As a guy, my best friend is female. My oldest friends are female. Hell, most of my friends are female and I know I'm not gay because I also have a girlfriend...whom most of her good friends are guys.
Even before this, ever since high school, I tend to find a female friend much better than male friends.
It's entirely possible and sex won't get in the way when you deal with it with a pinch of salt. If you're not going to complicate things that way and have fun together because you share things in common, then let it be that way.
Friendship is about sharing a common goal or a common purpose in things. Not necessarily a means of attraction which is completely different altogether. If people can figure that out. It'll make things better for them this way.
Iris - yeah..hehe :)
rambling mind - that's great. it is always wonderful to have great best friend does not matter the gender.
It is important to marry someone you love very much, if not don't get married.
Kamigoroshi - I agree that it can happen but do remember that feelings can come anytime. maybe not from you but could be from the other person. So if we want friendship, important to guard it and guard ourselves and our actions.
Post a Comment