This is the question in my mind for the last week. What are the factors to consider?
Should age be the determinant? Too young, or more like, clock is ticking.
What about money? I heard it takes a lot to bring up a child nowadays.
Should both couple have a honeymoon period after wedding before having a child? How long? One year, 6 mths, 2 years??
Pressure from parents? Should we succumb to the constant questions and nagging.
What if you are not ready and an accident happens? I mean accident of the contraceptive-lah.
I know having a baby is a wonderful thing. I love playing with kids, but since they are not mine, the responsibility is slighty different. I play and then I leave. No sweat!
I had a little scare this week. My period has been late for 4 weeks.
First week late - it's ok, my period cycle is irregular anyway.
2nd week - hmmm..still no problem-lah.
3rd week - hmmmm....strange, though it is irregular sometimes but it has been regular for the past few months.
4th week - oh oh!! panic panic! Went out to get a pregnancy kit.
It was raining. It is one of the rare days of rain during the hot summer. Infact it was pouring almost like the feelings I have inside my heart, stomach etc. Came home after buying the kit, read the instructions and did it. I hope I did it right. Though the instructions said, 10seconds of "water" (you know what I mean), I had only 5seconds. Will it work? No choice, that is all I had. Now I have to place it flat on the table.
And wait, one second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds.....heart pounding I could almost hear it. Palms sweating and my eyes fixed on the indicator of the pregnancy kit.
I see a line forming....ok...ok...it looks rather faint.....hmmm is there another line?, I wait, 1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds....errr I don't see another line.....does this mean....? errr will another line form?
No it did not. Only one faint line that went across. So I am not pregnant.
Phew! It was a relief. Not that I don't want a baby. I do want but I am just not prepared for it now. I will be, hopefully soon.
5 comments:
I don't believe anyone is ever ready for a baby. So when it happens, it happens. Even those who actively try for one. Thats why you have 10 months.. technically 40 weeks to convince yourself that its REALLY happening. :)
I have a theory, but it'll put you off having kids. Let me know if you want to hear it. ;P
Pamela - Ready or not, I guess when it happens, you just gotta prepare for it :)
Rambling mind - I am curious but also scared to find out :) curiosity kills the cat...tell tell..
Kids are luxuries. How much are you going to spend on each kid?
The answer I usually get is RM1,000 a month.
Put that money into an interest-bearing deposit of around 6% (on average) and at the end of 20 years, you'd have close to a millin ringgit for your nest egg. That should ensure that you can retire early (assuming you're 30 now) and still receive an monthly income of RM10,175 (assuming you manage to live till 80)
Now,you're going to give me excuses like that a kid offers you non-monetary benefits such as stress relief, propogating the family line, etc..
If you can have a kid in this day and age witouth sacrificing your lifestyle and still save up a nest egg, then by all means.
I have a colleague who has 2 kids and is thinking about migration to Australia for the kids' education. Obviously he's going over there with no job, no roots, etc.. I ask him how he's going to survive and he says it should be fine.
He's an investment banker here and earning good money. Over there, he's nothing.He's worried because the kids are getting to the age where they're about to enter school, etc. and the usage of money is going to spike.
So, yeah. I look at having kids from an investment decision angle. Unless your finances are secure, so should you.
Don't worry about the survivability of the human race etc.. The Earth is over-populated as it is. Food is getting scarce, wars are getting more common, brothers are killing each other (and in cases, their parents) over money. Is this a world you want to bring a child into? For the mere aim of propogating the family line?
Can you give him/her the best possible care and education, ensure that he/she is a contributor to society, ensure that he/she will be able to survive on his/her own, and ensure that he/she will be able to take care of you, if you so need it?
If your answer is negative to any of the above, then maybe you'd want to re-think.
Sorry about the long-winded post, but these are my 2 sen. I'm no a pessimist, just a realist
rambling mind - You are really an idealist and in someways I am too. What you wrote is true and I can't argue with the points, infact it kinda scares me that I totally agree with it. However, I guess in life, sometimes we should take a step forward (even knowing the consequences) cos that forward step may lead you to a totally different path. If we don't take that step, we may never know what that path will be like. I would probably take that step one day, for now I am just being an idealist :)
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